Sunday, January 29, 2012

The Kind Of Relationship That Saves A Couple:


* Insyaallah. I'm holding on to the last one.

Friday, January 27, 2012

I'm Running Out Of Space To Hide My Feelings.

When you break someone's heart, you break your own.


Tonight I'm feeling a bit blue. Yes, my expectation is very high. I expect too much. I hope too much. And that too much, hurts me so much. Everyone knows that expectation leads to disappointment. And everyone knows that nothing stay the same. Everything will change, eventually.

People change, situation change, feelings change. Everything. I know soulmates are Allah's secret. And I really hope that he is my other half. But I know that I can't hope too much for that if Allah's plans prove otherwise, I'm just gonna have a really big heartache.

My insecurities are killing me. Pretending that nothing hurts at all - That's what hurts the most. I tried my best not to care, at all. But I failed, every single time. People told me, it's better to keep to yourself when you miss someone rather than you go and tell the person and get nothing in return. But honestly, I'd prefer to get nothing in return than to hide my feelings for that I am afraid that I will never get the chance again.

Ego - I'm learning to be ego every single day, and sometimes it works. But sometimes I just couldn't take it anymore. Why do we need to be ego since we only live once? I know being ego is the only way for us to protect our heart. But.. Does it need to be all the time?

Sometimes people want you to speak with words, too. As much as action speaks louder than words, sometimes actions confused people. We need words, too. Ya know? :')

And do you have any idea what hurts the most? The seconds in the morning where you’ve just woken up and for those precious seconds you’ve forgotten the reasons why you’re unhappy; the reasons you’re so broken and then it hits you again, like a stab to the heart and you remember all the reasons you didn’t want to wake up. Yeah, that hurts. Oh Ya Allah, please give me strength.

Being ego all the time won't make you look cool. Being ego almost all the time won't make you look powerful for hiding your feelings. We only live once, put aside your ego, and start learning to speak your heart out. Before HE removes everything around you.

Friends, start doing something to make people know that you will always love them no matter what happen. Because people forgets. We need to be reminded and to be told by people almost every single day that they love us while we're still alive. And after all, it's not that hard to let people know that you love them :)

Don't make yourself regret later. Just please, don't :')

Until then, Assalamualaikum.

* 546, I just want you to know, that if today is the final day of my existence and brief, and I could only see one more person, it would be you. Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Be A Better Muslim.

The coolest thing you can do is worship God without caring who’s watching/listening.

Assalamualaikum people.

Few days back, I wrote in my blog about how freaking weak I was. I was really in a bad shape. Really, I was. And it’s never easy to stand when the storm hits. Seriously it's hard. But that’s exactly the point. By sending the wind, He brings us to our knees: the perfect position to pray. Indeed, I was tested by Him.

Each and every day, I try to be a better person. A better Muslimah, to be exact. But I know it's not easy. There's a lot of things that I still need to study in Islam. I've done a lot of sins, to be honest and I thanked Allah S.W.T for sending me 'him' to make me a better person.

He gave a big impact on my life. He made me think of things that I never have thought about it before this. He made me wanted to be a better person; a good friend to my friends, a good wife to my future husband, and a good mom to my future kids - Insyaallah.

And if you already found someone that could make you change to a better person, please hold them close. Because you will need them for the rest of your life. And I have some tips to everyone who wish to be a better person or to make their life better. Just stop holding grudges. Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.

Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” It is the answer - forgiveness. Let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, please forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.

And stop judging people. Every human has weaknesses and imperfections. When you start to speak about the weaknesses of others, you're only harming yourself by exposing your own. You're inability to see the greater good in people, and you're inability to only speak good or just remain silent.
Insyaallah, it will work. Your life will be better. And yourself, too :)

There's always a chance for us to be a better muslim. Allah always give us time to change. Even though tomorrow you're going to die, today you still have time to change. Nabi Muhammad s.a.w once said "If tomorrow the world ends, and you have seed in your hand, go and plant it".

I'm not trying to act or be very Islamic in front of everyone, but I'm just sharing my thoughts. It's never wrong to ask people to always worship and remember that we are only belong to Allah, and to Him we will return back.

Until then, Assalamualaikum :)

New year eve at Dataran Shah Alam - sermon by Ustaz Azhar Idrus.

One of the steps to be a better Muslimah - to attend religious sermons more frequently. Insyaallah :)

Oh Ya Allah, make it be that Death only reaches me in a state in which you are pleased with me. And please grant me Jannah. Amin.

* Islam is not about "we're better than you". Islam is about "let me show you something that is better for you". Allahu Akbar :')

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Kahwin Muda? .. Aku?

Assalamualaikum kawan-kawan. Memula sekali aku nak bersyukur sangat-sangat kepada Allah S.W.T - Alhamdulillah, semuanya kembali normal. Dugaan yang dulu nya sangat lah tinggi, akhirnya berjaya juga aku tempuhi.

Betul apa orang cakap; mula-mula Allah bagi kita hujan, petir dan kilat. Kemudiannya baru Allah bagi kita pelangi. Alhamdulillah :')
Ehm, regarding about the thoughts of me deleting my blog (including my Facebook), ramai jugak yang mendesak aku supaya jangan delete.

Diorang cakap kebanyakan apa yang aku tulis, ada kena mengena dengan hidup diorang. Maybe kebetulan la kan. Aku ni, kalau ada idea aku tulis je. Walaupun topic tu kadang-kadang takde kena mengena dengan hidup aku sendiri. Well, sharing some thoughts bukannya benda teruk kan? :)

Lately ni kaaannn, aku pelik betul. Ramai pulak yang ajukan soalan yang sama dekat aku.

People : Ieeko/Cikunnn, bila nak kawen? Tak sabar nak tengok! Jemput I eh, jangan lupa :)
People : Eh you dah bertunang kan? Bila nak kawen?
People : Bila nak bina masjid ni?
Aku : Ngaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa *nganga mulut je.*

Bila masa aku bertunang ni? Tu photoshoot je woiii T____T

Aduh, soalan panas bertubi-tubi di ajukan kepada aku. Ehem, guane nak kawen bila boifren pun tadak? Oh Mr.X-Man? He's not my boyfriend - he's not even mine. Tapi kitorang berdoa yang masing-masing ialah jodoh kitorang, Insyaallah.

So secara tak lansung, aku masih lagi menyingle (ada ayat macam ni?), but I'm not available. Sama la dengan Mr.X-man jugak. Hokhokhok hikhokhikhok -- hodoh bebeno gelak macam ni.

Aku sebenarnya malas nak bercouple-couple ni. Cukup la zaman dedulu tu; to be honest, aku ada 3 ex je pun. Tu pun masa tu aku tak serious mana pun, main-main je lebih. Alhamdulillah, the past has taught me that couple-couple ni buang masa je. Baik kita single je, then terus kawen. Kan lagi best tu? Couple lagi pun tak elok kan di sisi Islam :)

Cakap pasal kawen ni, aku sebenarnya tak rasa macam nak kawen awal pun. Tapi bila aku terbaca satu Hadith ni;

Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda: Tiga perkara yang jangan dilambat-lambatkan, iaitu solat apabila telah masuk waktunya, jenazah apabila telah siap (urusan mandi dan kafan) dan anak gadis setelah ditemui (pasangan) yang sesuai untuknya. (H.R. Tirmidzi)

Terus tergerak hati aku untuk mula berfikir tentang kawen-kawen semua ni. Kalau-kalau lah kan ada yang rasa-rasa aku ni pilihan yang paling tepat and ada niat nak ajak aku kawen *berangan* Hikhik. Jujur lah aku kata, ada la jugak yang pernah meluahkan hasrat mereka untuk berbini kan aku, tapi tapi .. tapi .. emmm aku punya pintu hati tak terbukak untuk mereka semua tu.

Alhamdulillah, semua yang datang, semuanya baik-baik belaka. Tapi Allah Maha Bijaksana kan? DIA dah tentukan segala-galanya. Aku 'mungkin' bukan untuk mereka. Mungkin ada yang lebih baik dari bakal jodoh aku sendiri - mungkin. Tapi Allah Maha Adil. Mungkin bakal jodoh aku tak sebaik mereka, tapi dia boleh mengubah aku untuk menjadi yang lebih baik - Insyaallah :)

Kenapa bila orang kawen muda semua cakap mereka tu tergopoh-gopoh? Ataupun 'gatal' nak kawen muda? Perkahwinan adalah benda yang paling indah yang boleh kita kecapi dalam dunia ni. Bila kita kawen, kita membina masjid dan syaitan-syaitan semuanya bersedih kerana mereka tak dapat nak menghasut kita untuk melakukan zina ataupun perkara-perkara yang dimurka oleh Allah. So dulik apa? Dah jumpa, kawen terus.

Mungkin jodoh aku belum tiba. Insyaallah, kalau dah tiba masanya, aku akan berkahwin lah dengan lelaki pilihan aku - yang semestinya bersifatkan seorang pemimpin, yang boleh membimbing aku ke arah yang baik, ke arah Syurga-Nya, dan yang boleh menjadikan aku seorang isteri dan ibu yang solehah - Insyaallah - Amin amin amin!

Soooooo, kawan-kawan yang prihatin yang kerap bertanya bila aku nak kawen, belum tiba masanya lagi untuk aku membina masjid bersama seorang lelaki. Aku pun taktahu bila. Kot-kot tetiba bulan depan aku kawen, aku pun tak tahu kan? Aku serahkan semuanya pada Allah. Kalau jodoh dah dekat, Alhamdulillah. Kalau jauh lagi, kita tunggu je la ye :D

Aku berdoa sangat yang aku boleh jadi seperti Siti Khadijah yang tak pernah dimadukan oleh Rasulullah S.A.W.

Oh Ya Allah, temukan lah aku dengan seorang lelaki yang ada ciri-ciri seorang suami yang soleh yang boleh membimbing aku dan juga yang akan menjaga aku sehingga nafas terakhirnya. Amin.

Aku tahu aku dah 'jumpa', cuma aku harapkan apa yang aku rasakan ni memang benar.

Me : I rasa I akan mintak satu je kot hantaran nanti. Satu berbalas sembilan.

X : Serious? Senang hidup I macam tu haha. You nak apa?

Me : Audi Q7 *senyum selebar yang mungkin*

X : Emmpph, macam tu umur 40 la baru kawen.

Aku : *Muka sememeh*

Fuuuuu! Audi sumpah seksi! Arghhhhhhh I want that car. I want I want I wanttttttttt! Kalau aku tengah bawak kete, mata aku pantas je bila nampak kereta idaman aku tu. Hmph.

#Kepada yang dah kawen tu, cuba lah kekalkan perkahwinan anda tu. Cerai berai ni benda yang dimurkai oleh Allah S.W.T. Setiap yang terjadi pasti ada hikmahnya. Bersyukur lah anda sudah jumpa dengan pasangan hidup anda. Cuba lah jaga hubungan tu sampai ke Syurga :')

* Mama, Cikinnnnnn lambat lagi kawen. Sabauuu yewwww. Umur 40 hikhikhik :D

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Ya Allah, I Need You.

Those moments when your forehead touches the ground when you’re praying, and there’s tears in your eyes.

Tonight I feel so weak. I feel so unwanted, and I feel so small. I may over think some certain things, but I could feel that I'm losing things that I love in life. I know nothing is permanent. Everything is for temporary.

Human, animals, wealth, health, air, every single thing belongs to ALLAH. I know that. But I don't know why somehow I pray that - this one thing may last. I've been crying for the past 3 days. Don't know the reason why, or maybe I know the reason, but I just pretend like I don't. I can't help myself from praying that I wont lose those precious things in my life.

Ya Allah, I've gone too far from what You taught me. Forgive me. Guide me to go to the right path. There's too much love in my heart that I know it wont last. No matter how I want it badly, I know You know whats best for me. Please help me to get through this Ya Allah.


AL-QURAN ANSWERS: "Do men think that they will be left alone saying,'We believe', and that they will not be tested? We did test those before them, and Allah will certainly know those who are true from those who are false." [29:2-3]

2) WE ALWAYS ASK: Why I never get what I wanted?

AL-QURAN ANSWERS: " It is possible that you dislike a thing which is good for you, and that you love a thing, which is bad for you. But Allah knows, while you know not." Surah Al-Baqarah [2:216]

3) WE ALWAYS ASK: Why was I burdened this way?

AL-QURAN ANSWERS: "Allah does not place a burden to a soul greater than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns, and it suffers every ill that it earns." Surah Al-Baqarah [2:286]& " So verily, with every difficulty there is relief: (repeated) Verily, with every difficulty there is relief." Surah Al-Insyirah [94:5-6]

4) WE ALWAYS ASK: Why am I losing hope?

AL-QURAN ANSWERS: "So lose not heart, nor fall into despair: For you will be superior if you are true in Faith." Surah Al-Imran [3:139]

5) WE ALWAYS ASK: How can I face it?

AL-QURAN ANSWERS: " O you who believed! Persevere in patience and constancy; vie in such perseverance; strengthen each other; and fear Allah that you may prosper." Surah Al-Imran[3:200] & "And seek(Allah's) help with patient, perseverance and prayer: It is indeed hard, except to those who bring a humbly submissive (to Allah)." Surah Al-Baqarah [2:45]

6) WE ALWAYS ASK: What do I get from all these?

AL-QURAN ANSWERS: "Indeed, Allah has purchased from the believers their lives and properties (in exchange) for that they will have the garden (of Paradise)..." Surah At-Taubah [9:111]

7) WE ALWAYS ASK: To whom could I depend?

AL-QURAN ANSWERS: "(Allah) suffice me: there is no god but He: On Him is my trust- He the Lord of the Throne (of Glory) Supreme." Surah At-Taaubah [9:129]

8)WE ALWAYS ASK: But I can't take it anymore!

AL-QURAN ANSWERS: "...and never give up hope of Allah's Soothing Mercy; truly No one despairs of Allah's Soothing Mercy. except Those who have no faith." Surah Yusuf [9:87]& "Despairs not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives All sins for He is Often- Forgiving, Most Merciful." Surah Az-Zumar [39:53]

Ya Allah, make my relationship with You so strong that I don’t need these people or this world. Ya Allah, let me thrive on Your love and the love for Your deen. Alhamdulillah for the beauties of this world You have blessed me with, but, Ya Allah, do not let me get attached to such short-lived materials.

Only Allah knows what is in someone’s heart and mind, what you see on the outside is not always a reflection of what you assume is on the inside.

Why wish upon a star when you can pray to The One who created it?

"Ya Allah, please make it last this time. Only for this time. Guide us to go to your Jannah. And avoid us from doing sins. Please make it last til what's haram became halal. Please Ya Allah."

* Dugaan yang Allah bagi kat kau Shikin semuanya bukan untuk membebankan kau. Tapi untuk mengingatkan kau yang kau sentiasa perlukan DIA :')

Kucing & Stop Blogging (?)

Too much talking leads to heart breaking.

Assalamualaikum. Hey peeps, doing great? I hope so :)

So .. I have this kind of thoughts running around in my head. Should I delete my blog? Or shouldn't I? Aku tak pernah sedar yang blog ni boleh jugak menjadi salah satu punca salah faham tu terjadi. But benda dah jadi, tak boleh nak buat apa.

Aku kadang-kadang tak sedar yang aku sekarang terlalu 'terbuka' untuk bercakap tentang segala yang aku rasa kat dalam hati ni. Which is that's not good to me. Aku dulu seorang yang hebat memendam perasaan ni. 4 tahun, aku boleh pendam pasal satu benda ni, and now aku dah tak reti nak pendam and selalu bercerita tentang apa yang aku rasa.

I used to have cats. They were my real friends. They were my best listener, not to mention Allah, too. They never judge me, and they pretty much know how to keep secrets, teheeeheehehehee ;) Dulu kalau aku sedih, lonely, nangis, or rindu kat someone, semuanya aku luahkan kat kucing-kucing aku. And it works. My stress boleh hilang bila aku dah 'bercakap' dengan diorang.

Aku boleh menangis 2 jam kat diorang, and after that sikit pun aku tak akan rasa sedih. I could pretend the whole month like everything's fine. But now, since aku ada anak buah, I had to sacrificed and bagi kucing-kucing aku kat orang. Which is, ITS VERY HARD FOR ME TO DO *mata berair*.

I really miss this! :(
Sumpah tak tipu.
Rindu gila nak kiss kucing.

I don't like the new me. I want to be like my old-self. I used to be strong, pandai pendam, always ceria, tak cepat sentap, tak mengada lebih, tak pening kan kepala orang, tak buat orang serabut and mostly, I don't break people's heart. And now, aku buat semua benda tu :'/ Due to what I wrote in here, ada sesetengah orang dah berubah. And I really hate changes :'(

I really need a new cat *long sigh*. And since I hurt so many people with my writings, I think I really should stop blogging. I cannot bare the pain of losing people that I love anymore. Aku lagi rela tinggalkan my passion, which is blogging rather than losing people that I love.

Or maybe, I don't need to delete my blog. I just need cats around me. So that aku tak akan luahkan apa yang tak patut aku luahkan kat blog ni.

X : Which one do you prefer? Elmo or kucing?

Me : Of course kucing, but I tak boleh bela dah. Mama tanak dah bela :(

X : Mana tahu I buat kerja gila, I buy you a kitten. Or a big Elmo for you to cuddle with.

Me : *senyum*

I'm sorry for those yang pernah terasa/terluka dengan apa yang aku luahkan kat blogspot aku ni. Takde niat nak buat korang rasa macam tu. It just that I don't have someone to talk to. Before this I have my cats. But now, I have no one :(

I promise you one thing, I will try my very best to stop writing whatever I have in my heart that could break anyone's heart. I should learn to keep things to myself since there's no cats left for me here. Insyaallah, I will keep my promises.

If one day you guys go and search for and there's no result shown, then korang tahu la aku dah delete blog aku :) But no worries, kalau aku berjaya jadi diri aku yang lama tu balik, I surely wont delete my super boring blog!! :')

Until then, Assalamualaikum.

* Lost and insecure. I miss you.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I'm Truly Sorry.

I did something bad tonight. It was really really bad that I could feel my heart breaking and it made me cry like I just lost my cat. I know everything was my fault. I shouldn't act so childish and make it as a big deal. I should've just pretend like things are fine and be the best actress ever.

And before things got worse, I said something stupid. I said, we shouldn't see each other for awhile since I only caused you troubles. Silly you Shikin. Why'd you say that? You know exactly this person is the only person who you would kill for to see everyday. This person gave you goosebumps whenever you guys met. And this time, you said you think you guys shouldn't see each other? Bad move.

I know I'm not a good person. I tried to make everyone happy and satisfied with everything I did. But instead, the outcome was always bad. I make it worse than it already is. I know. Sumpah Demi Allah, what I wanted to say actually was, I wanted to see you every single day if its possible. But, why would you want to see me everyday right? You have a lot of better things to do :)

I don't know how long things will be tense between us. But I pray it will end soon. And I have faith in us. Insyaallah. The last msg you send to me, made me feel more insecure than I ever felt before. But there's nothing I could do to make it better. I will only make it worse. I am truly sorry for everything that I do. All the problems, fightings, and mostly, all the heartache that I caused you.

I know you will read my blog, and I bet you will do nothing about this, but I don't blame you. I made it this way. Again, I'm sorry for everything and I'm sorry for being me.

Yes, you were right.
I really miss you. And us.
Sorry again.

* Ya Allah, tabahkan lah hati ku ini. Amin.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Inspiring Video - Allahu Akbar!

*Assalamualaikum guys!
Before you watch this inspiring video, please kindly stop/pause my blog's song.
Thank you*

MasyaAllah :')

* Love can be good, but love can be blind. Love the one and only God - Allah :)

Al-Kisah Si Ego & Si Bangang.

Gambar takde kene mengena.

Assalamualaikum. Selamat hari Isnin kawan-kawan. Moga-moga semuanya baik-baik aje la ye. On my side, things are pretty rough lah beberapa hari ni. Tapi takpe, cerita pasal aku tu kita put aside je la ye.

Now aku nak bercerita pasal dua orang yang aku kenal. Aku gelarkan satu Si Ego, dan satu lagi Si Bangang (ikut suka kau je nak panggil dia bangang kan cikun?). Actually takde la best mana pun cerita pasal diorang ni. Tapi aku saje je bukak topic. Ye lah, bosan jugak kan asek pasal aku je kat blog ni. Orang pun makin muak. Hmph.

So let the story beginnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Si Bangang ni aku kenal lama lagi dari aku kenal Si Ego tu. Maka nya pasal Si Ego ni tak banyak yang aku tahu. Kalau entry ni banyak pasal Si Bangang dari Si Ego, jangan bising ye rakan-rakan. Sebab aku memang kenal sungguh dengan Si Bangang ni. Kami memang rapat.

Si Bangang ni seorang yang suka menyusahkan diri dia demi untuk membuat orang lain happy. Dia ni tak reti nak pentingkan diri dia sendiri. Yang dia tau, dia kena buat semua orang disekeliling dia happy. Dia kena marah, dia dilayan macam babi semuanya dia pendam and telan je. Kesian gak aku tengok Si Bangang ni. Nak tolong pun tak terdaya.

Si Ego pulak, aku taktahu nak cakap macam mana. Nama pun Ego kan. Memang sikap Ego dia dah macam Gunung-gunung. Tinggi sungguh. Tapi kadang-kadang tu, dia turunkan la jugak ego dia tu kan. But mostly, Si Ego ni memang sentiasa ego. No one can beat Si Ego ni. Tak pernah aku jumpa orang se-ego dia ni.

So Si Bangang ni ialah kawan kepada Si Ego tu. Mereka agak rapat. Serapat mana tu, aku tak confirm. Tapi yang aku tahu, mereka ialah kawan yang okay lah. Satu haritu, Si Bangang ni jumpa Si Ego tu. Macam biasa, Si Ego ni biasa je. Selalunya Si Bangang ni yang excited lebih nak jumpa Si Ego tu. Si Ego tu relax je. Ego duapulohempatjam manjang. Tapi takpe, Si Bangang ni terima je lah.

Tapi haritu pelik sini. Si Ego lain sikit. Dia macam ego + moody. Si Bangang yang seorang ceria ni (Memang selalu orang yang ceria-ceria ni bangang eh?) dia pun sedar yang Si Ego tu macam lain sikit haritu. And Si Ego punya mood bagi kesan kat mood Si Bangang ni. So dedua pun jadi moody dan diam je.

Benda tu berlarutan sampai keesokkan harinya. Baru jumpa, mereka dua dah diam. Kalau aku ada kat situ, confirm aku lari dulu. Tanak aku kena lempang dari dua ekor tu. So mereka pun keluar. Sampai la satu part ni dimana Si Ego dan Si Bangang ada conflict sikit. And it hurts Si Bangang's feelings.

Si Ego : Cuba pentingkan diri sikit boleh?

Si Bangang : I am. Tengah pentingkan diri sendiri la ni. *Si Bangang nak buat apa yang boleh happykan Si Ego*

Si Ego : Pentingkan diri apanya kalau dah fikir pasal orang lain je?

Si Bangang : Well, ni la cara I pentingkan diri I - I pentingkan diri orang lain.

Si Ego : Pentingkan diri orang lain is the way you pentingkan diri you?

Si Bangang : Ha'ah.

Si Ego : Tu bukan pentingkan diri namanya. Itu BANGANG.

Si Bangang : *Diam* So you cakap I bangang?

Si Ego : Ha'ah. Straight to the point. Bangang.

Si Bangang : *Diam* .. So nak cakap apa ni kat diorang?

Si Ego : Cakap je la ada emergency. Ada appointment dengan hospital.

Si Bangang : Ada appointment?

Si Ego : Ye la. Pandai-pandai la you fikir ayat. You kan pandai menipu.

Si Bangang : *Diam & tergamam* Wow. That's the biggest compliment ever. Thank you *Walks away*

So korang rasa mesti diorang dua gaduh kan? Nope. Si Bangang ni takde cakap pape pun kat Si Ego pasal benda ni. Dia just diam and pendam kan dalam hati. Si Ego mungkin main-main je, but it hurts Si Bangang's feelings. Bukan Si Ego sorang je yang pernah cakap macam tu dekat Si Bangang. Ramai. Termasuk keluarga Si Bangang tu sekali. So takdehal la.

So they went home. Si Bangang cuba la untuk berlakon seperti semuanya biasa-biasa aje. While Si Ego sikit pun tak sedar. Well, it works this way kan? Normally the one who is willing to do anything, is the one who will get hurt at the end. So Si Bangang, tahniah. Kau dah dapat apa yang kau nak.

Si Bangang dan Si Ego macam biasa, masih berkawan. Si Ego masih lagi dengan sikap ego dia. Dan Si Bangang? Masih bangang dan jugak masih pendamkan apa yang dia rasa. Apa la sangat sakit kat dunia ni nak dibandingkan dengan sakit kat akhirat nanti. So telan je la wahai Si Bangang oii. Buat macam aku. Buat lek jeee :)

Satu benda yang aku tahu pasal Si Bangang ni, dia memang sentiasa kena layan macam sampah. I mean, aku tak la layan dia gitu. Huehuehueheuhe! Si Bangang ni selalu kena layan macam dia ni takde perasaan je. Kesian aku tengok dia ni kadang-kadang. Sometimes dia confused whether orang ni sayang dia ke tak (sebijik macam haku)

And Si Ego pulak, dia ni relax je orangnya. Bila mood dia datang, dia seorang yang hyper. Dan sweet la jugak kadang-kadang. Aku pun hampir-hampir cair je dengan Si Ego ni. Nyeh nyeh nyehhhh. Dia seorang yang baik. Untung siapa yang dapat dia ni.

Cuma yang aku takutkan, kalau-kalau satu hari nanti Si Bangang ni dah tak tahan and dia angkat kaki dari semua orang termasuklah Si Ego tu sekali. Tapi yang aku tahu, Si Bangang ni sayang kat Si Ego tu. So aku pun taktahu la. Aku rasa Si Bangang tu tak akan tinggalkan Si Ego tu. Cuma aku cakap KALAU lah kan. Aku takut je. Manusia boleh berubah dalam sekelip mata. Dan takde siapa boleh bersabar selalu.

Tapi aku suka tengok Si Bangang dengan Si Ego ni. Diorang ni comel. Tapi kalau Si Bangang ni tak cerita kat aku, takde lah aku cerita kat orang benda yang aku tulis ni. Aku bukan apa, aku cuma taknak Si Ego ni menyesal kemudian hari bila Si Bangang ni dah takde dalam hidup dia.

Manusia ni, kadang-kadang tak sedar apa yang ada kat depan mata. Nikmat tu kadang-kadang tidak disedari, sehingga lah ia hilang dari sisi. Aku bukan nak cakap Si Bangang tu baik, tapi semua orang bukannya hidup selama-lamanya. Selagi dia ada, layan lah elok-elok. Tak kemana awak tu nanti dengan ego awak tu kalau selama-lamanya awak nak bersikap macamtu. Tak salah pun kalau awak buang sikap ego awak tu.

So conclusion nya ialah : Si Bangang memang seorang yang bangang. Dan Si Ego memang seorang yang tersangat lah ego.

* Wahai Si Bangang, bersabar lah. Aku ada dengan kau. Selagi boleh pendam, pendam lah. Aku tahu kau sayang Si Ego tu. Dugaan semuanya ni. Doa lah banyak-banyak yehhhhh. Allah tu pendengar yang paling setia :')

Sunday, January 15, 2012



Assalamualaikum. Selamat mengerjakan solat subuh kawan-kawan :)

Harini aku tersangatlah pening. Rasa macam nak pecah kepala ni. Berdenyut-denyut macam nak meletop. Sakit sakit sakit :(

Walaupun kepala berdenyut, tapi aku gagahkan diri aku untuk berblogging pagi ni. Aku tak tidur lagi dari semalam. Tahniah chikingggg. Kau bakal diberi hadiah eyebag sebesar beg sekolah tarik budak-budak sekolah rendah dan jugak muka yang sangat lesu seperti baru lepas melahirkan anak. Congrats!

Tipu - menipu dan ditipu. Em em, best ke menipu ni? Best ke mainkan perasaan orang? Best ke buat orang sedih and menangis? Best? Kalau best, bagus la tu. Allah S.W.T still bagi kau waktu untuk berubah. Sebelum DIA amek semua dari kau, baik kau berubah. Kes tipu menipu ni dah macam perkara biasa kan kat dunia ni? Orang tu tipu orang ni, orang ni tipu orang tu. Apa 'KEBENARAN' tu dah tak penting ke?

Aku pelik betul dengan manusia skang ni. Lagi-lagi yang tipu pasal perasaan. Apa yang kau dapat bila tipu? Seronok mainkan perasaan orang? Kalau dah tak sayang, blah je. Tak perlu nak stay dengan seseorang tu sebab kesiankan dia. Itu lagi menyakitkan dari ditipu.

Kat dunia ni siapa je yang tak pernah menipu dan ditipu kan? Aku mengaku, aku pernah la menipu jugak. But when it comes to feelings, I don't play shit. And yes, I mean it. Aku tak suka mainkan perasaan orang. Sebab aku percaya, Allah Maha Adil. Apa yang kau buat, kau kena balik nanti. Masa je yang akan menentukan.

Aku banyak kali bagitau Mr.X-man, when it comes to feelings, be true. Kalau hati dah berubah, angkat je kaki. And let me know. Aku lagi sanggup orang tu blah dari hidup aku daripada orang tu stay sebab kesian kat aku. Oh no no no, I freaking hate that. And Alhamdulillah, Mr.X-man sangat lah memahami.

Setiap kali aku ditipu, fuhh aku cuba untuk bersabar walaupun kesabaran tu memang dah macam lidi sate. Kurusssss je. Yes, kesabaran aku memang sangat 'kurus' masa tu. Tapi apakan daya, aku hanya mampu bersabar. Orang semua suruh aku balas balik, tapi sampai sekarang aku masih pegang lagi kata-kata ni;

"Seteruk mana pun seseorang tu berbuat jahat dengan kita, jangan sesekali kita membalasnya dengan kejahatan. Kerana itu yang Allah ajar hamba-NYA semua."

Alhamdulillah, sampai ke hari ni aku masih berpegang pada kata-kata ini. Orang selalu cakap aku ni senang kena pijak kepala, sebab aku terlalu baik. Nak cakap aku ni terlalu baik, tak jugak. Agaknya kepala aku ni syok dipijak-pijak kot? Tapi aku takde la nak pijak kepala diorang balik. Orang yang bersabar ni lumayan ganjarannya kelak. So aku pun bersabar je lah.

Dan Alhamdulillah, Mr.X-man pun selalu ingatkan aku untuk bersabar setiap kali aku rasa macam nak berubah menjadi Godzilla. Tapi disebabkan kuasa Mr.X-man tersangatlah kuat, aku pun tak jadi lah berubah menjadi Godzilla tapi aku terus jadi perempuan ayu yang sedang bersabar. Huehueuheuehue. Gediks kan ayat I? Ahaha dulikkk lagi akuuuuu :)

So kepada orang-orang yang suka menipu kat luar sana, tolong lah berubah. Menipu tu sangatlah tidak best. Sebelum korang menipu, fikir lah dulu. Apa korang rasa bila orang tipu korang? Just tell the truth even though your voice is shaking. Tho' the truth might hurt their feelings but it's 100% better than telling lies and make them happy and get busted in the end and all you can hear is them crying, right?

Lies are bad. It hurts. And you don't hurt people that you love.

* Pelik aku dengan manusia yang bahagia bila menipu ni. Agaknya dah gelap habis hati depa ni kot. Haih.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Cerita Sedih Aku.

Mommy, I want a kitten :(
Rindunyaaa nak bela kucingggggg!

Assalamualaikum! Hey kawan-kawan. Yes, saya rindu nak bela kucing. Rumah aku dah senyap sunyi since tahun lepas lg. Kena sacrifice bagi kucing kat orang sebab kakak ngandung T_______T

Haihhh ghinduuuu ghinduuuuu! Nampak je kucing tengah jalan, walaupun tgh drive memang aku stop kat situ jugak ( propa ni, jangan caya ). Kalau kat kedai makan, tak lama pulak aku main-main kat situ? Time tu kotor or tak, belakang cerita. Letak terus atas peha.

Pernah tu tgh jalan dengan mr.X-man, dia dok pokpekpokpek, sekali aku nampak kucing, mr.X-man entah ke mana, aku entah ke mana. Haha sian dia. Tak geram pulak dia dengan aku? Ahhh dulikkkkkk :)

Okay, cakap pasal mr.X-man ni kan, aku tibe-tibe teringat something. Dia selalu gelak bila aku bercakap. Bukan sebab aku ni ada sifat semulajadi seperti badut, tetapi disebabkan tahap confident aku ketika bercakap. Confident tu memang terbaik la, tapi yang tak baiknye, ayat-ayat yang keluar dari mulut aku.

Aku : Cuba you dengar tayar I tu. *tgh drive*

X : Haa, kenapa?

Aku : Dengar tak bunyik cik cik tu? *tayar aku bunyi*

X : Ohh, ha dengar.

Aku : You reti check tayar tak?

X : Boleh la. Reti. Nape?

Aku : I risau if tak cukup tayar. *muka confident habis*

X : Tak cukup tayar? Cukup je tu I tengok. Ada 4 tayar *muka dia sengih-sengih sbb dia tau aku salah cakap*

Aku : Ehem, silap. I mean, I takut tak cukup angin *urghhh shittttt!*

X : Hahaha.

Shit shit shit shitttttyouuuuuuu! Hebat kan? Mungkin kalau dlm penulisan, benda nampak biasa je. Tapi kalau depan2, kalau salah cakap tu, tak satu table gelak pulak? Kuanghajoooo tulsssss. Muka aku yang tadinya confident habis, terus senyum pandang bawah. Malu plus terasa diri ini lawak. Patut aku yang masuk Maharaja Lawak Mega semua tu, confirm Juara! Fuuuuu fuuuu fffuuuuuuu!

Aku pelik betul. Mana la datangnya genetic confident ketika bercakap salah tu. Aku rasa kan, sebab aku ni creative kot. Mulut nak cakap lain. Otak nak cakap lain. So sebab tu la lidah berbelit, last-last ayat pejadahhhhh tah keluar dari mulut aku. Yessss yesssss! I'm a genius! That's the right answeerrrrrrrr! I am creativeeeee. Wihooooooo.

Kitorang ada catit kesalahan masing-masing dalam hp bila orang cakap salah. Tak banyak pulak aku punya? Tapi banyak-banyak aku punya pun, cannot beat the king of typo - kawan aku, Apple. Hebat kan? Buah-buahan boleh bercakap. Dah la boleh bercakap, bercakap pun salah and typo. Coolioooo! Suami-suami aku terutamanya Afiq and Que, selalu cakap salah. Tapi Afiq hebat, dia pandai cover. Babi tonyok betul.

So ada la satu hari ni, sambil aku mengenang nasib aku yang dah macam takde ubatnya ni, aku dengar mak aku berborak dengan kakak aku kat depan tv sambil dok main-main dengan anak buah aku - Khaliq. Oh oh, by the way, he'll be 6 months on the 22nd! Besarr dahhhh. Comel comel comel. So berbalik kepada topic tadi, diorang dok pokpek kat depan tu, so here's the conversation.

Mak aku : Khaliq, nanti dah besar Khaliq belikan nenda ( yes, mak aku mmg poyo habis. Tanak nenek or jadah. Nak jugak nenda. Dia cakap nampak cool ) rumah besar ye.

* keluar iklan cartoon Alvin*

Mak aku : Haaaaaaaaa, nanti Khaliq dah besar mesti Khaliq suka tengok cite ni,

Mak aku : Cite 'Alvin and the Chipsmore'.

Aku and kakak aku : Hah?

Mak aku : Tu, cite cartoon yang menyanyi-menyanyi tu. Alvin and the Chipsmore *muka confident habissss!*

Aku and kakak aku : Chipsmore? Hahahahahahaha.

Guane la boleh keluar ayat Chipsmore tu? Ikut suka hati dia je nak tibai. Dari Chipmunks, jadi Chipsmore.

So mak aku and kakak aku pergi ke beranda pulak. Saje amek angin. So diorang pun pokpekpokpek. Aku pun join la kan, sambil aku bawak IPad ke depan, aku dah set dah nak bagi Khaliq dengar lagu Elmo. Nyehhhh. Makcik dia suka Elmo, of course la dia pun kena suka!

So Khaliq pun dengar la lagu Elmo. Yeah. He loves elmo and I'm loving it :)

Aku : Khaliq, nyanyi cepat! This is the song, la la la la, Elmo songggggggg.

Kakak aku : La la la la, la la la la, Elmo songggggggggg.

Mak aku : Eh bosan lah asek Elmo je. Cuba tukar lain, tu haaa ada satu cartoon tu.

Aku : Cartoon apa?

Mak aku : Aaaaaaa, tele.... Tele... Tele-tasbih.

Kakak aku : Tasbih? Tele-tasbih?

Aku : What the hell? Tasbih? Cite ape tu?

Mak aku : Alaaaa, yang ada color warna purple, hijau semua tu. Muka bangang-bangang sikit tu.

Kakak aku : Teletubbies?

Mak aku : Haaaaaaaa!

Aku : Tasbih? Hahahahahahaha. Ponnn bolehhhh!

Yesss yessss. Finally, aku tahu dari mana datangnya ke-creative-an aku ni. Rupanya it's from my mom! Hahahaha, cool gen mommmm. Cooooool. Coooooool. Cooool my assssssssss. Arghhhhh, tension tension. Guane aku nak hilangkan genetic berbahaya ni? Mati la aku woiiiii.

Sadis sungguh aku. Selama ni aku dok cari and fikir, apa yang buat aku begitu confident ketika bercakap salah. Sekarang semuanya sudah terjawab. It's in our blood! It's in Nofal's blood! *screams*

Aku perasan la kan, makin tua ni, makin selalu aku typo. Manjangggggggg dgn typonya. Adoiiii.

Aku : Tadi I jumpa Mr.G.

X : Then dia cakap apa?

Aku : Dia cakap 'hi kaaaaakkkkkk!'

X : You cakap apa?

Aku : 'hi bangggggggg!'

X : Oh kat mana korang terjumpa?

Aku : *muka confident gila* Kat seksyen 1.

X : ....... emm ... *muka sengih-sengih*

Aku : Ponnn bolehhhhhhhh Shikinnnnnn. Tingkat 1! I nak cakap tingkat 1! Eeeeeeeeerghhhh!

X : Haha.

Kuanghajooooooo! Eeeee, pig pig pig! Cane nak hilangkan benda ni. Uh, Shikin you have to practice! You neeeddddd to learn to think first before you speak. Or else, you'll be like this for the rest of your life, and yes, you'll be the forever alone clown T____T


X : Sejuk gila malam ni.

Aku : Ha'a, sejukkkkk! Menggigil dah ni.

X : Tu lah, malam ni TAYAR kuat gila.

Aku : Hah? *tak sedar lg*

X : TAYAR kuat betul malam ni. Cuba you bayangkan eh, kalau bukak kipas kedai ni nombor 5, fuuuuhhh tak laju pulak TAYAR dia?

Aku : -_____________- Babi tonyok.

Main kasarrrrrrr main kasaaarrrrrrr. Sabar Sabar.
Lu ingat Lu mr.X-man, gua takut?
Siott tullsssssss.

Sedih kan cite ni? I bet you'll be crying like hell by now. So yeah, thank you for reading. And I assure you that this will ends soon. Hmphhh!

* Tayar and angin. Jauh beza tu. Macam mana la aku boleh salah cakap. Hmmm bakat terpendam ni. Hmmmmm -.-

Sunday, January 8, 2012

#Doa; Ya Allah.

The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets.

Dear Allah,

I am so sorry. I know I forget You when I am awake, and You remember me when I am asleep. I forget You when I laugh, You remember me when I cry. I forget You when I love, You remember me when I hate. I forget You when I eat, You remember me when I am hungry. I forget You when I speak, You remember me when I am in silent. I forget You when I am angry, You remember me when I am patient.

But please don't forget me when I am death. I will remember You I am still alive.



Allah is the reason why even in pain, I smile; in confusion, I understand; in betrayal, I trust; and in fear, I continue to fight. When Allah wants you for Himself, He removes everything around you :')

*Tidak ada yang mampu menolak TAKDIR kecuali DOA.


Blog Template by - Header Frame by Pixels and Ice Cream
Sponsored by Free Web Space