Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Normal Questions During Ramadan.


Oh. My. God, 

I used to write but now I don't even have time to write any-more. I feel so sad because writing has always been my passion. I am freaking busy right now with work, life and my future plans. Even Vivy who own a company writes more frequent compare to me! *cries*

Before I start mumbling, I would like to take this small opportunity to wish all Muslim who is fasting in this holy month, Ramadhan Al-Mubarak! Grab this opportunity to improve ourselves to be a better "me" and aim for His Jannah. 

Fasting in the month of Ramadan is one of the main pillars of Islam. I have been fasting every year since I was about seven-years-old and the experience has been changing for me in many ways, teaching me a lot about discipline, and what it means to be less fortunate. 

The first 2 years my dad gave me RM1 If I managed to fast until 7-ish. Cause he knows I might end up eating at 12 noon. RM30 in my hand by end month, for sure. I think that was the only way he could think of cause' who doesn't love money?! I can buy so many chocolates with that RM30! Imagine me going to the convenient store wearing 30 cent shades that I got from Tora ToyBox and hand over the money to the Shop owner while doing the 7-years-old sombong face. Then I get to keep the chocolates in my room and eat secretly when everyone else is asleep. *evil laugh*

But well, that didn't happen. The money that I got from my dad, I finished it all by buying food for stray cats/dogs. I have a soft spot in my heart when it comes to animals. Which THAT IS WHY I STRONGLY DISAGREE WHEN CHINA DO THE STUPID FESTIVAL WHERE THEY KILL DOGS AND CATS AND EAT THEM. *cries*

#YULIN is cruel!! Thus, #StopYulin2015 campaign should be done in all countries. No one and nothing deserves to be treated that way. Sigh. Stupid mentality.

Okay, moving forward. Wait, does Tora ToyBox give shades to kids? HAHA! I can't recall. I bought too many toyboxs from Uncle Babu. Yeah, my childhood was that awesome.

Fasting is an obligation and a great worship. It is among the best acts of obedience and greatest deeds, and one for which there is great reward. God is indeed merciful. Imam al-Bukhariyy related the Qudsiyy hadith that the Prophet said Allah said: which means: "The reward of every good deed is multiplied ten up to seven-hundred times, except that of the Fasting; it is usually done in sincerity and will be multiplied by as many times as Allah wills." 

One of the doors of Paradise, named ar-Rayyan, is specified for those Muslims who used to fast in this world. On the Day of Judgement, it will be opened, and those who used to fast in obedience to Allah enter through it, then it would be closed and no others will enter through it.

Fasting is a really good exercise for us to always feel grateful and thankful for what we have. Something that has stayed the same however, is the common reaction that I often get from non-Muslim friends and colleagues. *grab a chair guys*

I don't know why, but they just love to ask the same questions every year for that one particular month haha.

  • 'So what? Do you really don't eat or drink anything at all for 30 days, Shikin?"

You really think that's what I'm doing? I am pretty sure I would die if I tried that. I don't dare to do so. Nope. Nope. Nope.

  • 'Is it ok to eat in front of you?' - I get this alot. Like seriously guys.
Of course it is. One of the main principles of fasting is discipline and I would prefer if you just spent your day normally and didn't worry about me. I can handle some nasi lemak or nasi kandaq being eaten near me. *loud sounds coming out from my tummy*

  • 'Why do you do it to yourself? Isn’t it bad for you? Your body needs food okay? How could they make you guys do this?'

I'm not punishing myself and this isn't a burden. Ramadan is a very special time for Muslims that a lot of us look forward to. There are certainly times when it can be difficult but it only lasts a month and it reminds us how people less fortunate than us have to live.
Fasting is only considered obligatory for adults that can fast. You don’t have to fast if you have any health issues that could be affected. We may be losing a few meals every day but the aim is to change our entire lifestyle positively allowing us to feel that we are gaining a lot spiritually throughout the month. You should try it friends! :) *I actually have friends who did this and they love it!*

  • 'Must be a great way to get in shape!'

Yes, there is plenty of evidence around to support the many health benefits of fasting, including improving brain function, improving your immune system, normalising insulin sensitivity, helping to cure addiction and helping weight loss. We also eat a lot of dates during this month which are very good for you.
But then, during the night, everyone will eat like nobody business. Like they have never eaten for YEARS. Every hour they will be holding foods, munching here and there. Okay maybe not everyone else, I lied. Please forgive me. I was talking about myself *rubbing my round tummy*

  • 'Eat some of this, no one will know' - I don't get this much now. 
Ramadan is not just about avoiding food or drink. We use the month to learn self-discipline, try to become spiritually stronger, appreciate God's gifts to us and how fortunate we are, reflect on the value of charity and generosity and give thanks for the Quran which was first revealed in the month of Ramadan.

I had 2 evil friends when I was younger. They made me eat Maggi Curry. As per claimed by them "If you eat this in 2 seconds, your puasa wont batal". Me being me, I eat a spoon of maggi and both of them were laughing and said "HA HA HA, your puasa is now batal Shikin!!". I was so naive. Hey, I was 8 okay that time. And they were 10 years-old. Blergh. But it was a good one. Haha. 

  • 'You must be really hungry!'
I was doing fine until you mentioned it, thanks. *looking at my watch. Crap, another few hours to go*.


If you know someone fasting during Ramadan, please, just act normal. If you still find the entire concept too difficult to comprehend, remember that it only lasts about a month! And at the end we get to celebrate HARIII RAYAAAAA YAAAAYYY!!! ( Eid Mubarak). 

Can't believe it has been a year since last Ramadan! How time flies so fast. It's scary. I am scared. I am getting older. Oh god, next thing I know I have wrinkles on my face and losing my teeth one by one. *gulp*

Nightmares. Nightmares everywhere.

Till then, Assalamualaikum! Enjoy your Ramadan :)

Monday, April 6, 2015



Assalamualaikum everyone! Howayadoinyawwww? I am doing perfectly fine! Alhamdulillah. Couldn't ask for more :) :)

Okay, fuhhh fuhhh. Bismillah. Before I start writing, (or should I say start letting out my frustration? Teheeee.) let's just give you some heads up on what is happening in my life right now.

I can't wait for this 1st of May because I'll be flying off to somewhereeeeeee. Me, sissy and jengjengjeng. Lol. I can't wait to meet up with my babyD :) I'll tell you guys soon who is this babyD yeah? Perhaps in my next entry? After I come back from my vacation, of course. Ngehngehngeh.

Next trip will be Lombok, I think. I fall in love with that place the moment I see my friend's photos. For "Thalassophile" people like me, you can never say no to the sea/ocean. Sissy is at Paris right now, having fun -- of course. So jelly. I wish I can follow her T____T Other than these two wonderful things, everything else is not for you to know! Muehehehe.

Emm. So .. what do we know about GST? So basically our government has decided to charge 6% of GST in everything that can be called as a "service".

To make it clearer, I'll paste it here :)

GST which is also known as VAT or the value added tax in many countries is a multi-stage consumption tax on goods and services. GST is levied on the supply of goods and services at each stage of the supply chain from the supplier up to the retail stage of the distribution.

I have this issue where I don't friggin' understand why people is pissed off with the companies who applies this 6% GST rather than pissing off with the government who DECIDED to implemented this 6% in the first place?

Okay, let's be honest. Everyone hates GST right? Yes, we're in the same boat. I am working in a company where we give services to the public either in Malaysia or outside of the country. I mean in terms of education. And because of the 6% of GST, we had to deal with people's frustration over the phone nor over the counter. They will be screaming at us like nobody's business. 

This kind of people which I hate the most. And I bet I am not the only person who is having this issue whereby we get the blame for other people's mistake/fault/decision. And it is sad to see most of them are from a quite wealthy family and not-to-mention they are quite intelligent too. This is sadden me most. Oh well, people always says "Belajar tinggi-tinggi, tapi ... " the rest, you may continue it if you want :)

You think our company wanted to charge you with the 6% of GST so badly? Come on, use your brain, this ain't our decision. We had to charge because the government told us so. And I bet you've seen the news or read the news that the government implemented this GST on the 1st April 2015. The decision is not in our hands. Even if I buy topup at 7-E and being charged extra 60 cents for the GST, you think I will scold the innocent people? No of course. And yes, Maxis/Digi/Umobile/Celcom etc will not charge 60 cents extra for the topups if you go and buy at their centre(s). But if you go to 7-E or any other stores, of course they will charge you with the 6% of GST.

I just had to let out my frustration T_____T I am so pissed and puzzles at the same time. I don't know how to react when people starting to turn into Godzilla and can't listen to any explanations and forced us to listen to them instead. If only I have the power to stop the government from implementing the 6% GST. But I don't, unfortunately. 

So, I am begging to everyone who is reading this post right now. If you are not happy that the company/store/place charge you with the 6% of GST, please do not scold them for doing so, UNLESS if they are not SUPPOSED to charge you with the GST, meaning to say they are not registered with the government and don't have the registration number stated in the receipt, then you are more than welcome to go and make a report.

Always always always check on the website if you have any doubt about the place charging you with GST. If their company's name is not listed, make a report straight away!

You can always check here : www.customs.gov.my or you can reach the officer in charge at 03 8882 2111.

Okay! I think I am done with my frustration hewhewhew. I hope you people out there can think first before act! Act wisely, please :)

Wohoooo, babyD I can't wait to see youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Assalamualaikum & have a good day!

Monday, March 16, 2015

Harsh Criticism.

Can't wait to have my own house so that I can have this cutie back at home :)


Well hello readers out there! How have you been? I hope all is well on your side :) I am doing perfectly fine. Just recovered from dengue. That was the most painful sickness I have ever had for the past 1 year, tsk tsk. But Syukur Alhamdulillah, everything is fine now.

Okay, referring to the topic for this entry -- Harsh Criticism, does it help? Well, it sure does! At least for me. I used to speak bad English. Like, literally, bad. Like really really bad. Broken English, I must say! 

To be in a family where English is like a main language and you could not speak good English was so frustrating and humiliating at the same time. Imagine having a 7 y/o niece who can speak BETTER English than you do. How would that make you feel? Well, it surely made me feel dumb and stupid T__T

I must say, up until today I am still learning and trying to improve my English. Doesn't mean that I can speak or write good English now, I need to stop learning. Right? I love listening to people who can speak really good English. I find them attractive. Lul. 

Okay back to the topic. Why would I said harsh Criticism helps? Let me tell you one story. 

I have a sister who speaks really really really good English, and she's a lawyer by the way. When I was 9/10 y/o (can't remember), I get scolded by her because I spoke horrible English. Like really horrible. She said to me " Eh Kin, if you can't speak good English, better not to speak at all. You look like a fool now ". Damn, that hurts! Big time! I look at my dad, because I was talking to him at that time. And my dad was giggling when my sister scolded me. I felt so down and dumb. 

And she added " Really, don't speak at all. Just speak in BM. Memalukan je ". Shit weh, rasa macam nak amek pisau cucuk hati sendiri masa tu HAHAHAHA! But then I said to myself " Shikin, you gotta prove to her one fine day that you can speak good English. YOU HAVE TO! ". Well, from there, I read English books, I always have my dictionary in my room and I watch a lot of English movies. Not to forget, having my late dad to be my private English teacher at home :P Just to make sure that I can improve my English.

Everything pays off! I did improve my English, both written and spoken. Since then, English have become my favourite subject in school. I tend to speak English most of the time. Especially when I am angry hehehehhee. Tapi kadang2 bila terlalu marah, haa kawwww English punya grammar terabur. Lepastu Mr.X time tengah kena marah tu sempat lagi dia betulkan grammar aku. Last-last tak jadi marah pastu dedua gelak. Phui! :P 

So I really believe, harsh criticism does help when it comes to something you can improve. And having 2 sisters and being the youngest is actually both a blessing and a curse. Blessed because if you've gain weight without you notice it, they will be the judges and critics you until you're back to your normal size ;p And a curse because .... everything else T___T

Do you know that I did not have a facial wash until I finished my high school? Lol funny, ay? After Spm, I went to Dubai and stay at my sister's house for 1 month. I came there twice, to be exact. On my first visit both of them dragged and forced me to buy a facial wash. They said I am a big girl now, so I should start taking care of my skin ( -.-' ) I still remember, they bought me Olay facial wash. Haha.

So people out there, if you really want to change something, then fight for it. Work for it. Don't give up. If people critics you, take it in a good way where you can improve that area or change it. No words or nobody can bring you down, unless you give them the power :)

Continue learning. Improve your weak areas and you shall be proud of yourself when you've finally improved :)

Sorry if there's any grammatical error or bad English in this entry. I don't know why, after I had dengue, I literally forget how to spell certain words. HAHA. Bodo nyaaaaaaa. Tapi itu la kenyataannya. I can't remember things, haih. 

Me : Can't wait to have cats running around in our house! 

Him : Yeah, cats, you, rabbits, our child, I'll die soon.

Me : Phuiii!

I can't wait for this coming May!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-hooooooliiidddaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy again! :)

* See you again when I have time to write :D God bless you all! Goodbye! Assalamualaikum :)

Friday, October 31, 2014



MasyaAllah! It has been almost one year since the last time I wrote. I am so sorry, there's a lot of stuff happening and I've been so freaking busy and and .. I forgot about this blog :'(

How are you guys been doing? I bet a lot of people does not bother to read my entries anymore, tsk tsk. Well, it is my own fault though! I hope you are doing fantastic people.

Herm. How do I start with this entry? It's awkward cause I used to write but not anymore and now I am trying to write back. I love writing. I should continue doing what I love, shouldn't I? Please bear with me as I am still trying to work this things off. Huuuuu.


For those who are close to me, y'all know that recently I've lost my dad. He passed away on February 24th, 2014. That was my biggest loss in my entire life. I was the closest one to him. Losing him was not easy. I fell, to be honest. Took me months for me to stood up back. To be frank, I am still not over it. But I know, I gotta let him go. He is in a better place right now.

How did that happen? Well, grab a chair and keep reading this entry. Let see whether am I able to write this entry without tears rolling down on my face or not :'P

That morning, after finished perform my Subuh prayer -- as per normal I got ready to go to work. While adjusting my hijab, I saw my dad sitting on the sofa checking on his phone. Ah, I forgot. He had some meetings to attend that morning so that's why he changed his shift from night to morning.

Me : Bah nak pergi dah ke?
Bah : Ya, I am waiting for my taxi. Kin?
Me : Kin kejap lagi. 6.15 macam tu.
Bah : Oh okay.

Seconds after that I saw my dad walking towards our balcony and grab his shoes.

Me : Eh Bah, awalnya? Tadi kata tunggu taxi? Kan lambat lagi taxi nak sampai?
Bah : Takpa lah, bah can wait. Boleh borak dengan Abang Man (Abang Man was our guard back then)
Me : La awalnya. Apa lah Bah ni, tunggu lah kat rumah. - While walking towards him, I mumbled. 
Bah : *Giggles* Takpa takpa. Kejap ja pun.

After I kissed his hands, I went back inside and continue doing what I was doing just now. And before he left, his last words to me was "Take care, Assalamualaikum". I didn't know that was the last time I am gonna see him .. :'(

That morning when I was in the office, I felt one kind. I told someone I don't feel good. I've never felt this way before. As normal, people will say "Nah, that was just your feelings. Everything is fine". Turned out this time, It was not.

That evening, I fell asleep ( this is not normal. I don't sleep at evenings ) and the next thing I heard was my mom knocking on my door asking me to wake up. And I heard my sister was screaming at the back "Kin, bah collapsed!" I was still in a blurry + sleepy state but I know that was real. I woke up and straight away took my bath. I cried. I know something is not right today. I cried and cried. Mom asked me to stop crying. She said it's not good for me to cry as we still don't know what is going to happen. Deep inside, I know I've lost him.

7+ we went to GH. My sister and I were crying in the car, trying to control our emotions but we both know we can't. We reached the hospital somewhere around 7.40pm. There he was, I saw my father lying on the bed - helpless. The nurses and doctor did try their best to save him, but Allah knows what is best for him. Indeed. He left peacefully. Everything went smooth for arwah. Alhamdulillah :)

Not only my dad, I lost so many people in my life this year. Before my dad, it was my grandfather who left the world first. And now, recently, I've lost someone else. It is to be honest, the most painful year for me to swallow. But Allah is The Best Planner of all. I trust in Him.

You-know-who-you-are, you used to say you will never leave me. You promised me. But surprisingly, you did. You left me and I hope you will be fine, my friend. Thank you for always been there for me. You're the greatest gift I've ever had - after my family of course. And boo to myself. I actually thought you cared :)

So peeps, this is just 20% of what happened to me for the past 11 months. There's ups and down, but more to down I guess. But Alhamdulillah, I have people around to give me support. I hope while reading this entry you could spend a minute or two to sadakah Al-Fatihah for my late father and grandfather. And not to forget, Al-Fatihah to my heart for having such heavy pain to bear with.

Don't worry. I am strong. As long as I have Allah in my life, I'm pretty sure that I can survive this road! We aim for Jannah, so whatever happens in this horrible dunya, just bear with it. Trust in Him, and you will be fine :)

Al-Fatihah, dearie heart. I am proud of how strong you are :)

Pops, I miss you so much. You're the most priceless thing I've ever had. I know you are happy now. I know you are proud of your youngest daughter and how tough she is facing all this pain alone, right? If only I could buy a golden ticket to pay you a visit each time I miss your kisses and your smiles, oh I wish. Only God knows how much I need you right now. Rest in peace pops. See you real soon :)

His birthday was actually on 19/03 - Did not managed to celebrate this year.
Love you pops.

Appreciate your loved ones before it's too late. Grab all the moments that you can share with them. You never know when is the last time you will see a person. Cherish every moment. Put down your ego and just appreciate everyone. It does not cost a thing.

And I promise you, I will start writing back! Hikhik :D

* I actually managed to write this entry without shed any tears. So yay to myself! Al-fatihah.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

You Are Worth It.


Have you ever had those days where you just stay in your room for hours, thinking back all the things that hurt you deeply -- to the point where you ask yourself "What have I done? Why are they treating me like this? What did I do wrong? Am I not worth it? Does anyone really love me?" and the list goes on.

It's getting harder when the one who hurts you is the people that you love the most. You would do anything for them but they don't even care about you. I know. I know that feeling. No matter how much love you have around you, this day will come to you -- you will lock yourself in a room and cry for hours. 

You tried so hard to fake a smile but day by day, it gets harder to fake it. And soon, the smile disappeared. And people keep asking you what's wrong, but you know deep inside they don't care. They just wanna know for the sake of "knowing". How can people expect you to smile when all they do is making you cry? Yeah, even I don't have answers for that.

I know its hard for you to deal with it. People will stab you in your back and then ask why you’re bleeding. You're at your lowest and no one seem to care to hold your hand and help you to go through it. But believe me when I say this. I have been through this situation recently and I survived. Don't give up. I know you feel like killing yourself. Don't. I'm here for you. God is always there for you. You live not to please anyone, anyway.

You know HE's always there for you, right? Despite all your sins and faults, you know HE wont leave you, right? Breathe in breathe out, think. Think wisely. You know you don't need these people to help you to survive. You just need yourself and HIM; God. You just gotta pick yourself up and keep on going, you know? You'll die alone. So try to do more deeds and pray more. YOU WILL BE FINE. Trust me! I survived, remember?

Anyway, there are three things I want you and me to learn how to say. Please read it carefully. 


“I love you”

And don’t just say it as an empty phrase, say it with feeling, say it to every person who comes to mind when you think of those three little words. I know it’s scary, I know it’s difficult, but open yourself up and shout it. Don’t mumble, don’t say it under your breath. When you love someone, whether platonically or romantically, it deserves to be shouted from every rooftop. People need to be reminded you know?



There will be some people in your life that come in and just wreck everything. They mess up your plans, they hurt you, and make you feel less than what you are. So please learn how to say goodbye to them. But I also want you to learn how to say goodbye to even the people you want to stay; not everyone stays, and saying goodbye is like setting someone free, and it won’t always come easy, and it won’t always come without heartbreak. But not everyone stays, and it will do you a world of good to learn how to tell them goodbye.

The most important one.
“I am worth it.”

There will be waves of sorrow in your life, and you will feel as if you were the sand that the tide carries away. You will feel as if it carries away your worth. It will feel like you are the left over rubble of a building that had been burned down, and you will feel less. But please learn to say these words. Say them in the mirror when you have just woken up, say them when your lover turns their back on you, say them when you are opening up the refrigerator; sing them, yell them, whisper them, and please, believe them.

You are more than sand that can just be washed away, and you are more than just a few pieces of broken cement. Please, you are worth it :')

Let's do this together. You hold my hand, and I will hold yours. We can do this. We are worth it! :)

* Never compare your life with others. Everyone has their own story. Everyone has their own struggle. But if they can survive, why can't you? You are worth it! Remember :)

Thursday, October 31, 2013

What's Up With You, Girl?


I wanna cat! 
I need a cat!
Been two years now since the last time I had cats :(


Hello, happy Thursday everyone! Hope things are fine on your side. October is really not a good month for me. Been dealing with lots of things :( Lucky I have them by my side. I almost give up. But Syukur Alhamdulillah, they gave me morale support to keep going. Life can be so tough sometimes *sigh*

I have a problem -- I think most of the girls out there having the same problem as me. I have a very low self-esteem. LIKE REALLY REALLY LOW. I don't have confidence in me. I always feel insecure. Even when I sit in my room alone, I still feel insecure. I don't know when ever I feel secured with things around me. I find this is very bad?

Back then when I was still schooling, each time my teacher asked me to go to the next class to borrow or ask anything, I will immediately feel insecure. My heart will beat fast as it will explode anytime soon. I don't like to be the center of attention. I feel like they are judging me from far. Even though they were all my friends. I still felt insecure.

I thought it was okay, until I realized it now -- it's bad. It really is BAD. Not a good thing to have in yourself. You can't survive anywhere. You need to depend on someone and you just don't trust your own body and mind. Like, how can it happen? You've been living in your own body for years and you still don't feel comfortable in your own skin. Or maybe it's the society to be blame? Or our own mindset? I seriously have no idea.

Recently, I had a very bad morale down moment. The worst I've ever had in my life. There's so much things on my plate. I became quiet and lost my bubbly side that everyone seems to have missed it too. I don't feel like laughing or even smiling. Been locking myself in room for weeks. Mr.X-Man tried to convince me that things are fine, but I don't know, I just don't feel right.

I told him that I feel insecure, and that my self-esteem has gotten even lower than before. He then told me, I am pretty in my own ways and what's matter the most is that everyone loves me for who I am. Especially him. He saw my flaws, yet he still accept me for who I am. Not only that, he is blessed to have me in his life.

I admit, that was the most beautiful things I've ever heard from someone, but it still did not change anything. I still feel insecure all the time. I feel bad for him, and for everyone else too. 

Subhan'Allah, such a breathtaking view! 

"She's nothing but just a friend" -- as he looked down and play with his phone. He convinced me so many times and yes, I trust him -- but I just don't trust anyone else, you see? The past has taught me a lot. It left me a scar. A scar saying : I survived. I trusted someone so much and they started to take it for granted. And it sucks to be cheated, you know? It gave a huge impact on me and I see things differently now.

"You are important" -- he added. Ya Allah, I know all the words that came out from his mouth are real, but I still feel insecure. It's not him. It's me. I have problems with my own self. I started to mumble around as he sighed. He told me I should not be worry about anything, and I should feel confident and secure all the time.

You know how I feel? I feel like if I don't guard the people I love, someone might steal them away for me. Tragic, isn't? To feel that way when things are perfectly fine and beautiful. And I don't even know why I felt that way in the first place. Oh well maybe its because of the past? Or maybe cause people are fake and can't be trusted? Or issit because there's too many liars nowadays? 

My self-esteem is very low. I've been working in my company now or almost 2 years, I still feel insecure whenever I meet my colleagues. The feeling is just there. Wherever I go, whatever I do, the feelings of being insecure is just there. Oh Ya Allah :(

I understand that sometimes due to my behavior, I hurt so many people around me. Especially my family and him. He was there through my ups and down, yet I always hurt me with my insecurities. What's up with me?  And never once he complain about anything. He's the most precious thing in my life now after my family. I know no matter how bad we fight, we still have our du'a for each other. InsyaAllah, I pray that he is the one for me :)

I believe, the more I pray, the more Allah will make me feel safe. Even if these diseases can't be cured, as long as I have Allah, I will be fine. Isn't? InsyaAllah. Hopefully I can change myself in few years to come. To be a better me for Allah is always with me. Amin :) :)

* Don't ever give up on me please, mr.X-man *wink


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