I did something bad tonight. It was really really bad that I could feel my heart breaking and it made me cry like I just lost my cat. I know everything was my fault. I shouldn't act so childish and make it as a big deal. I should've just pretend like things are fine and be the best actress ever.
And before things got worse, I said something stupid. I said, we shouldn't see each other for awhile since I only caused you troubles. Silly you Shikin. Why'd you say that? You know exactly this person is the only person who you would kill for to see everyday. This person gave you goosebumps whenever you guys met. And this time, you said you think you guys shouldn't see each other? Bad move.
I know I'm not a good person. I tried to make everyone happy and satisfied with everything I did. But instead, the outcome was always bad. I make it worse than it already is. I know. Sumpah Demi Allah, what I wanted to say actually was, I wanted to see you every single day if its possible. But, why would you want to see me everyday right? You have a lot of better things to do :)
I don't know how long things will be tense between us. But I pray it will end soon. And I have faith in us. Insyaallah. The last msg you send to me, made me feel more insecure than I ever felt before. But there's nothing I could do to make it better. I will only make it worse. I am truly sorry for everything that I do. All the problems, fightings, and mostly, all the heartache that I caused you.
I know you will read my blog, and I bet you will do nothing about this, but I don't blame you. I made it this way. Again, I'm sorry for everything and I'm sorry for being me.
Yes, you were right.
I really miss you. And us.
* Ya Allah, tabahkan lah hati ku ini. Amin.