Have you ever had those days where you just stay in your room for hours, thinking back all the things that hurt you deeply -- to the point where you ask yourself "What have I done? Why are they treating me like this? What did I do wrong? Am I not worth it? Does anyone really love me?" and the list goes on.
It's getting harder when the one who hurts you is the people that you love the most. You would do anything for them but they don't even care about you. I know. I know that feeling. No matter how much love you have around you, this day will come to you -- you will lock yourself in a room and cry for hours.
You tried so hard to fake a smile but day by day, it gets harder to fake it. And soon, the smile disappeared. And people keep asking you what's wrong, but you know deep inside they don't care. They just wanna know for the sake of "knowing". How can people expect you to smile when all they do is making you cry? Yeah, even I don't have answers for that.
I know its hard for you to deal with it. People will stab you in your back and then ask why you’re bleeding. You're at your lowest and no one seem to care to hold your hand and help you to go through it. But believe me when I say this. I have been through this situation recently and I survived. Don't give up. I know you feel like killing yourself. Don't. I'm here for you. God is always there for you. You live not to please anyone, anyway.
You know HE's always there for you, right? Despite all your sins and faults, you know HE wont leave you, right? Breathe in breathe out, think. Think wisely. You know you don't need these people to help you to survive. You just need yourself and HIM; God. You just gotta pick yourself up and keep on going, you know? You'll die alone. So try to do more deeds and pray more. YOU WILL BE FINE. Trust me! I survived, remember?
Anyway, there are three things I want you and me to learn how to say. Please read it carefully.
“I love you”
And don’t just say it as an empty phrase, say it with feeling, say it to every person who comes to mind when you think of those three little words. I know it’s scary, I know it’s difficult, but open yourself up and shout it. Don’t mumble, don’t say it under your breath. When you love someone, whether platonically or romantically, it deserves to be shouted from every rooftop. People need to be reminded you know?
There will be some people in your life that come in and just wreck everything. They mess up your plans, they hurt you, and make you feel less than what you are. So please learn how to say goodbye to them. But I also want you to learn how to say goodbye to even the people you want to stay; not everyone stays, and saying goodbye is like setting someone free, and it won’t always come easy, and it won’t always come without heartbreak. But not everyone stays, and it will do you a world of good to learn how to tell them goodbye.
The most important one.
“I am worth it.”
There will be waves of sorrow in your life, and you will feel as if you were the sand that the tide carries away. You will feel as if it carries away your worth. It will feel like you are the left over rubble of a building that had been burned down, and you will feel less. But please learn to say these words. Say them in the mirror when you have just woken up, say them when your lover turns their back on you, say them when you are opening up the refrigerator; sing them, yell them, whisper them, and please, believe them.
You are more than sand that can just be washed away, and you are more than just a few pieces of broken cement. Please, you are worth it :')
Let's do this together. You hold my hand, and I will hold yours. We can do this. We are worth it! :)
* Never compare your life with others. Everyone has their own story. Everyone has their own struggle. But if they can survive, why can't you? You are worth it! Remember :)