Assalamualaikum my dear friends.
First of all, thank you sebab ramai yang concern and bagi comment-comment yang buat aku tersenyum. I'm gonna approve and reply it soon :) Thank you again.
Um, so - as I fed my neighbour's cat yesterday, suddenly it hits me. I miss last year. I mean, I miss the 'temporary' side of someone. Which is it's very hard to get nowadays. I missed those moments so much.
I know I shouldn't blog about it, but this is the only way for me to let 'that person' know what I've been kept for the past few months. I know 'that person' will read this entry, for sure. But 'that person' will do nothing about it; I know. 'That person' wont bother much about this silly thing.
To be honest, I don't know what to write. I just know that I miss last year. There's no other people that I want to see now, except for 'that person'. Not even my bestfriends. No one. But only 'that person'.
I miss those moments where I feel secured, safe, and happy. And tonight, I need 'that person' to make me feel secure, safe, and happy again. Or maybe just to make me feel okay back. That person knows exactly what to say every time 'this' happens.
Lately, I don't know why; I feel like 'that person' is starting to change. I feel a bit different about this. But .. nevermind, I have faith in Allah. Sigh. Whatever. Maybe I just misses 'that person' so much till' I get upset and start to over-think about everything. I am an overthinker, right? Or maybe its true, I'm just a mistake. My existence is a mistake.
Last year was .. nice and happy. Not to say I'm not happy this year. I am. But I really miss last year. That year was .. sweet.
The year of someone did not afraid to say what they felt, not afraid to show what they felt for me, not afraid to tell me things that I always wanted to hear. You know that kind of moments? Yeap. Priceless.
I don't do this very often - blogging about 'that person'. But I just got to do it tonight. Who knows this could be my last entry? I might die anytime from now. So cut the crap, let me just voice out what I really feel tonight.
I miss last year. I miss you.
- 2011; the year of I was the only one that 'that person' wanted to see almost every single day.
- 2011; the year of my phone wont stop receiving msg/call from 'that person' every minute.
- 2011; the year of where the 'late night phone calls' happened.
- 2011; the year where I feel loved.
- 2011l the year where I feel needed.
- 2011; the year where I feel like I belong to 'that person'.
QQ : Rinduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!Me : *kaku* Haha kenapa ni?QQ : Entah, tiba-tiba rindu. Tak salah kan I rindu you?Me : Tak salah :')
I miss 2011 so much. Badly. Can I have that moment back, please? Just one more time, and I promise that I wont ask for it again. I swear.
I'll try harder.
Maybe after all, we're just meant to be friends.
Not more than that.
I'm just a mistake.
* I'm tired of hiding what I feel inside. I'm sorry that I need to spill tonight. The least you can do now, is just to ignore this entry. Thank you.