Kucing & Stop Blogging (?)

Too much talking leads to heart breaking.

Assalamualaikum. Hey peeps, doing great? I hope so :)


So .. I have this kind of thoughts running around in my head. Should I delete my blog? Or shouldn't I? Aku tak pernah sedar yang blog ni boleh jugak menjadi salah satu punca salah faham tu terjadi. But benda dah jadi, tak boleh nak buat apa.


Aku kadang-kadang tak sedar yang aku sekarang terlalu 'terbuka' untuk bercakap tentang segala yang aku rasa kat dalam hati ni. Which is that's not good to me. Aku dulu seorang yang hebat memendam perasaan ni. 4 tahun, aku boleh pendam pasal satu benda ni, and now aku dah tak reti nak pendam and selalu bercerita tentang apa yang aku rasa.


I used to have cats. They were my real friends. They were my best listener, not to mention Allah, too. They never judge me, and they pretty much know how to keep secrets, teheeeheehehehee ;) Dulu kalau aku sedih, lonely, nangis, or rindu kat someone, semuanya aku luahkan kat kucing-kucing aku. And it works. My stress boleh hilang bila aku dah 'bercakap' dengan diorang.


Aku boleh menangis 2 jam kat diorang, and after that sikit pun aku tak akan rasa sedih. I could pretend the whole month like everything's fine. But now, since aku ada anak buah, I had to sacrificed and bagi kucing-kucing aku kat orang. Which is, ITS VERY HARD FOR ME TO DO *mata berair*.

I really miss this! :(
Sumpah tak tipu.
Rindu gila nak kiss kucing.

I don't like the new me. I want to be like my old-self. I used to be strong, pandai pendam, always ceria, tak cepat sentap, tak mengada lebih, tak pening kan kepala orang, tak buat orang serabut and mostly, I don't break people's heart. And now, aku buat semua benda tu :'/ Due to what I wrote in here, ada sesetengah orang dah berubah. And I really hate changes :'(


I really need a new cat *long sigh*. And since I hurt so many people with my writings, I think I really should stop blogging. I cannot bare the pain of losing people that I love anymore. Aku lagi rela tinggalkan my passion, which is blogging rather than losing people that I love.


Or maybe, I don't need to delete my blog. I just need cats around me. So that aku tak akan luahkan apa yang tak patut aku luahkan kat blog ni.

X : Which one do you prefer? Elmo or kucing?

Me : Of course kucing, but I tak boleh bela dah. Mama tanak dah bela :(

X : Mana tahu I buat kerja gila, I buy you a kitten. Or a big Elmo for you to cuddle with.

Me : *senyum*

I'm sorry for those yang pernah terasa/terluka dengan apa yang aku luahkan kat blogspot aku ni. Takde niat nak buat korang rasa macam tu. It just that I don't have someone to talk to. Before this I have my cats. But now, I have no one :(


I promise you one thing, I will try my very best to stop writing whatever I have in my heart that could break anyone's heart. I should learn to keep things to myself since there's no cats left for me here. Insyaallah, I will keep my promises.


If one day you guys go and search for www.littleieekospeaks.blogspot.com and there's no result shown, then korang tahu la aku dah delete blog aku :) But no worries, kalau aku berjaya jadi diri aku yang lama tu balik, I surely wont delete my super boring blog!! :')


Until then, Assalamualaikum.




* Lost and insecure. I miss you.