I've killed myself a thousand times in my head.

You know what I think we are most afraid of?

Not knowing. Not knowing whether it’s all really worth it. Not knowing if you should give up or keep fighting. Not knowing why you do the things you do; not knowing the purpose.

It’s like when you’re little and you touch the stove and get burned because you didn’t know that it was hot.

Not knowing has always hurt us, from the every beginning. Yeah. From the every freaking beginning. It cuts your heart into pieces and you hope that someone will notice it and help you from drowning yourself with your own monster inside your head.

There's nothing I can do more now. I've done my best. I tried, all the time.

Ya Allah, I need Your help to be a better Muslim. I know I make it hard on myself and don't try as hard as I should but please don't give up on Me.

Ya Allah, to You I belong and to You I will return.

Ingat shikin, luahkan segalanya di tikar sejadah. Allah is the best listener :')

* HE knows what is in every heart.