Kisah Mistik : Serangan Bertubi-tubi ( Episode 2 )

Assalamualaikum & Salam sejahtera!

Kata nak update hari selasa kannn, last-last hari Sabtu jugak la aku update episode 2 ni. Maafkan saya, agak busy sedikit. 

So macam yang aku cakap, semenjak aku kena hempap tu, memang almost everyday aku akan kena. Sehari tu ada la 2 3 kali kena, sampai jadi letih semacam badan ni. Pastu bila badan dah jadi letih sebab kena hempap selalu, mula lah aku demam la, sakit badan la, macam2 lah. Mood kau pun jadi tak betul disebabkan benda ni. Rasa macam nak bergaduh dengan semua orang. Aku punya "shield" memang whudu' sahaja lah. Kadang-kadang bila terlupa nak amek whudu' tu yang buat aku jadi bengang nak mati dengan diri sendiri hahaha. 

So aku tidur memang kena bukak lampu. Wajib. Kalau aku tutup lampu, memang tak sampai few mins aku akan kena hempap. Orang kata nak avoid dari kena hempap ni aku kena tidur mengiring. Heh, mengiring ke, tidur duduk ke, tidur gaya superman ke, semua aku kena weh. Tak kisah la gaya apa pun, once aku tutup lampu, memang aku akan kena. So untuk prevent, aku bukak la lampu. Benda sama akan jadi, tetap kena hempap kalau bukak lampu pun. Cuma percentage of kena hempap tu kurang berbanding bila aku tutup lampu.

Sampai lah satu malam ni, macam biasa aku lupa nak amek whudu'. Dasar short memory sungguh aku ni, dah kena kacau dengan secret admire setiap hari pun still lupa nak amek whudu'. Blergh. Aku pun tidur lah macam biasa. Sekali tu kena la hempap. Aku kalau kena hempap, aku suka bercakap dengan dia. Dalam erti lain, maki dia. So dalam kepala aku duk maki-maki dia cakap kau pehal nak hempap aku manjang. Takda kerja lain ke setan. Pi tempat lain la. Ha gitu la makian aku kat benda yang aku sendiri tak nampak. Aku pun baca la surah Qursi. Sekaliiiiiiiiiii, dia join sekali daaaaaaaa. Dia baca sama dengan aku, tapi bacaan dia ya Allah memang sedap. Aku masa ni dengar suara lelaki. So mungkin Jin islam jantan la kot. Pastu aku teringat ustaz aku pernah cakap, kalau baca ayat Qursi ni, ayat terakhir tu dia takleh ikut. So kita kena ulang 3 kali untuk bagi dia lepaskan kita.

Memang betul. Benda tu diam bila aku baca ayat terakhir tu. Baru aku nak ulang kali ketiga, dia lepas kan aku serta merta. Masa tu rasa lega yang teramat. Sambil  rasa lega tu, aku pun macam biasa lah, gelak berdekah-dekah kat benda tu. Berlagak sungguh haha. Terus zaaaapp aku pergi ke tandas dengan mengah macam baru lari padang sekolah 30 kali tu. Ya Allah, nak bangun dari katil pun rasa tak larat gila okay. Macam satu badan kau jadi lumpuh. Kalau boleh memang kau nak duduk atas katil tu je. Tapi masalahnya bila aku stay atas katil tu, tak sampai 10 saat mesti aku akan kena hempap balik. Jadi nak taknak memang aku kena paksa diri aku ni untuk bangun ke tandas.

The following days, aku kena lagi. Kali ni dia hebat sikit, dah tak main ikut aku baca surah or mengerang. Dia extreme sikit, tapi belum betul-betul extreme! As usual, lepas aku dah prepare katil aku, maka rebahlah diri aku ni kat katil tu. Aku pandang lampu, lampu pandang aku balik. Jenis aku ni sebenarnya aku takleh ada cahaya yang terlalu terang untuk tidur. Jadi aku akan ada bantal kecik untuk aku tutup muka aku. Masa tu aku dah golek-golek atas katil amek mood nak lelap. Tiba-tiba aku pun rasa la debaran kat hati tu. Aku tahu lah benda tu on the way kan, so aku pun dengan sepantas kilat gerakkan diri aku. Tapi gagal, macam biasa. 

Bila dah kena kunci tu, aku nak meronta pun dah tak dapat. Pasrah je lah kat katil tu. Macam biasa, aku nak baca surah. Sekali tu aku stop, sebab aku perasan something different kali ni. Bibir aku bergerak! Bergerak SENDIRI. Aku ulang, BERGERAK SENDIRI. Orang yang pernah kena hempap dengan benda ni tahu lah apa jadi kat badan kau. Totally keras, tak boleh gerak at all. So bila mulut aku ni bergerak dengan sendiri, automatically mata aku ni pandang bawah. Oh by the way, bila kena hempap tu, mata kau akan bukak luas. Tapi orang lain nampak kau tidur tutup mata nyenyak gila. 

Masa aku pandang bawah tu, aku memang nampak bibir aku ni digerakkan untuk senyum. Tapi senyuman aku ni sangat lebar. Memang lebih dari apa yang bibir aku boleh buat. Ni rasanya dia tarik bibir aku sampai nak ke telinga panjang dia. Haaaaa terkejut kan. Aku pun terkejut gila time ni. Dalam hati aku dah macam weh weh weh pehal ni weh main kasar gila weh kau gerak bibir sampai ke telinga. Hati aku berdebar bagai nak pecah masa ni. Laju gila.

Waktu dia tarik bibir aku sampai ke telinga tu, dia bagi sekali pakej ngilai weeeeehhh. Kuat pulak tu dia ngilai. Kurang ajor betei. Rasa macam dia betul-betul kat dalam telinga aku. Bukan tepi ye, tapi dalam telinga aku. So memang kuat teramat ngilai dia. Aku jadi stress serta merta. Rasa macam kalau dia kat depan aku ni, memang aku tumbuk laju-laju kat dia haha. Lama jugak lah dia "senyum" kan aku tu. Mata aku tetap ke bawah pandang bibir aku yang sampai ke telinga tu. 


After awhile, maybe dia dah bosan sebab aku usha je bibir aku tanpa rasa takut ke apa, dia pun lepas kan aku. Waktu aku memang tak larat sangat-sangat nak ke mana-mana. Dalam hati aku, lantak lah kau nak hempap lagi ke apa, aku tak larat. Aku nak tidur je. Mungkin dia tengok aku macam give up dah kan, so dia takda la hempap aku kali kedua or ketiga. Hahaha. Ada jugak belas kasihan ye hantu-hantu ni. Puik.


Esok tu aku pun bagitahu la keluarga aku. Rupanya kakak aku yang selalu kena kacau tu dah selalu benda tu main gerak-gerak bibir dia. Cara dia describe tu memang sebijik la dengan aku. Sakit sikit lah bila dia tarik tu. Pastu ngilai kuat nak mampus. Kuaja betul benda ni, tak cukup kakak aku, dia main-main dengan aku pulak.


So benda sama berulang kembali, aku kena hempap setiap hari. Kiranya "hempap" ni umpama "makan" la. Kena makan setiap hari kan? So sama la dengan hempap ni haha. Then one day ni arwah atok aku datang rumah aku. Macam biasa, tiap kali dia datang dia akan tidur kat bilik aku. Aku? Aku tidur kat bilik kakak-kakak aku. So ada one day ni arwah atok aku tengah tidur nyenyak, sekali tu dia dengar bunyi ... Orang tua kan, dulik apa dia dengan bunyi pelik pukul 2 3 pagi. Dia pun toleh lah ke kanan ......


Dia pun bukak mata dia .....


Dannnnnnn ..... 






Bakal bersambung.... 


Hehe tunggu episode ketiga nanti yaaa. Bagi lah ada unsur cuak di situ sikit hehe. Nanti kita sambung ek? Tunggguuuuuuuuuuuuu ....

Kisah Mistik; Titik Permulaan ( Episode 1 )

Assalamualaikum and salam sejahtera!

Kali ni entry nak cerita pasal pengalaman aku sendiri deal dgn benda-benda ghaib ni. Dia punya episode tak sure lah ada berapa. But aku try buat everything in details okay! 

Disebabkan blog ni dah lama berhabuk, so kita pun start lah fresh balik. (Maaf lah kalau ada penggunaan bahasa yang bercampur2 ye. Aku mmg jenis suka tulis ikut apa yang keluar kat kepala otak ni. If English, English lah. If BM, BM lah.)

Okayyyy, bismillahirrohmannirrahimmmmmm. 

Back in 2006, start lah benda-benda tak betul ni jadi. Em sebenarnya if fikir balik, dari kecik kot. Tapi aku tak amek port sangat sebab benda tu tak jadi depan mata or macam tak menangkap kalbu sangat haha. Masa kecik kena la jugak hempap ni semua, orang nampak "kembar" aku, aku nampak kelibat hitam yang macam ada hunch kat belakang and no legs. Etc etc etc.

Okay back to cerita 2006, masa ni salah seorang dari kakak aku dah kena gangguan2 ni semua. Dia tahap hysteria bagai sebab dia pernah berlakon theatre Mahsuri kat sekolah dia dulu. Orang kata kalau nak berlakon watak yang dah takda kat dunia ni, jangan terlalu hayati. Nanti macam-macam jadi. But kakak aku ni jenis yang suka berlakon. Menangis pun within few seconds je, memang dalam betul lah penghayatan dia ni. So right after she acted to be Mahsuri, dia kena benda-benda ni semua.

Alright, stop pasal dia, cerita pasal aku pulak okay? Disebabkan kakak aku kena gangguan ni, ada one night tu dia ajak aku tidur bilik dia. So being me yang bosan tidur bilik sendiri macam tu, aku pun tidur la bilik dia. Aku tidur kat atas lantai while she's on her bed. Sambil tengok TV, mata aku macam nak tertutup2 dah. And last2 sekali aku memang betul2 nak tertidur. Dalam mamai-mamai tu, aku macam ternampak kat hujung katil ada satu lembaga hitam tinggi besar dia macam slow-slow approach aku. Aku dah la mamai, aku pun usha je la dengan mata sepet aku yang lagi 20% nak terlelap. 

Lama sikit tu baru lah aku perasan yang aku ni actually tengah nampak "benda" yang orang lain tak nampak. And aku pun terus lah nak bangun kan diri aku untuk duduk. Tapi dah lambat, terlalu lambat actually. Benda tu dah pun hempap aku. Badan aku kaku. Aku nak jerit panggil kakak aku, tapi aku takleh bersuara. Kakak aku tengah tgk TV masa tu, so aku fikir mungkin dia boleh sedar yang aku ni tengah ada masalah. Tapi harapan aku musnah, sebab di mata luar aku nampak macam lena dibuai mimpi.

Aku pun cuba lah gerak kan ibu jari, tapi gagal. Kan orang kata, kalau nak terlepas dari benda ni kau kena gerak kan ibu jari. Tapi aku dah gerakkan dua tiga kali pun masih gagal lagi. Nafas aku pulak macam kian singkat. Aku nak nafas betul-betul tak boleh. Rasa terganggu. Otak aku cuba untuk berfikir apa yang perlu aku buat untuk lepaskan diri dari ikatan "benda" ni. So sebagai orang yang tak berapa nak alim (zaman jahilliah uolsssssss). So dalam kepala aku masa tu memang Al-Fatihah je lah yang aku ingat. 

"Bismillah..." baru sekerat ni aku baca, aku terdengar suara mengerang marah yang slow. Aku terbehenti. Aku tanya diri aku sendiri, amenda bunyi tu. Disebabkan perasaan ingin tahu tu membuak-buak, aku pun teruskan diri untuk membaca satu-satunya surah yang aku hafal time tu hahahahhahaha. And I was right.... the moment aku sambung balik, there you go. Suara perempuan mengerang marah. Those yang tak tahu, boleh lah Youtube cerita Harum Sundal Malam and dengar part Maya Karin mengerang marah masa dia panjat kat ceiling dia tu. Sebijik, sejibon, sekutu.

And lagi galak aku baca, lagi kuat dia mengerang! And aku dapat rasa benda tu memang betul-betul tepi aku sebab suara dia sangat kuat!! Rasa macam dalam kepala aku je suara tu weh. Masa tu memang aku rasa takut tersangat sebab itu kali pertama aku experience benda-benda macam ni. Aku meronta-ronta nak lepaskan diri sambil baca surah Al-Fatihah tu. Last-last masa dia macam nak jerit mengerang kuat tu, aku terlepas. Bangun-bangun dari lantai tu terus aku tutup telinga. Kakak aku yang tengah syok tengok TV terus terkejut and takut lah. Aku terus keluar dari bilik dia sambil tutup telinga aku. Drama sangat Ashikin Nofal oi. Haha. But that was the only thing that aku rasa aku perlu buat. Lol. 

So lepas kejadian tu, aku kerap kena hempap dengan benda-benda ni. Ada la dua tiga minggu tu aku asek kena hempap je. Seminggu nak dekat hari-hari gak lah aku kena. Sehari tak kena, memang tak sah. Dia punya hint nak kena hempap is hati aku akan berdebar-debar macam baru kena kejar dengan zombie. Haaa time tu memang aku dah dapat tangkap, confirm aku akan kena hempap. And yeapppp, sungguh tepaaaatttt. Moment yang aku paling suka is bila aku ada whuduk kat badan aku, and tiba-tiba hati aku berdebar. Means benda tu on the way la untuk hempap aku, and serta merta badan aku macam melantun (serious tau melantun betul) and halau benda tu daripada hempap aku. Disebabkan terlalu kerap aku kena, aku dah macam lali. Kadang-kadang bila badan aku ada whuduk and benda tu gagal hempap aku, aku akan gelak (ye gelak sorang2 dlm bilik, gila sangat perangai) sambil aku ckp "PADAN MUKA KAU TAK BOLEH HEMPAP AKU!! HAHAHAHAA". Haa sampai gitu.

Sampai lahhhh satu hari tu ........

Bakal Bersambung :)

Nantikan ya! More to come and trust me, lagi extreme dari first episode ni :)

Normal Questions During Ramadan.

Assalamualaikum.




Oh. My. God, 

I used to write but now I don't even have time to write any-more. I feel so sad because writing has always been my passion. I am freaking busy right now with work, life and my future plans. Even Vivy who own a company writes more frequent compare to me! *cries*


Before I start mumbling, I would like to take this small opportunity to wish all Muslim who is fasting in this holy month, Ramadhan Al-Mubarak! Grab this opportunity to improve ourselves to be a better "me" and aim for His Jannah. 


Fasting in the month of Ramadan is one of the main pillars of Islam. I have been fasting every year since I was about seven-years-old and the experience has been changing for me in many ways, teaching me a lot about discipline, and what it means to be less fortunate. 


The first 2 years my dad gave me RM1 If I managed to fast until 7-ish. Cause he knows I might end up eating at 12 noon. RM30 in my hand by end month, for sure. I think that was the only way he could think of cause' who doesn't love money?! I can buy so many chocolates with that RM30! Imagine me going to the convenient store wearing 30 cent shades that I got from Tora ToyBox and hand over the money to the Shop owner while doing the 7-years-old sombong face. Then I get to keep the chocolates in my room and eat secretly when everyone else is asleep. *evil laugh*


But well, that didn't happen. The money that I got from my dad, I finished it all by buying food for stray cats/dogs. I have a soft spot in my heart when it comes to animals. Which THAT IS WHY I STRONGLY DISAGREE WHEN CHINA DO THE STUPID FESTIVAL WHERE THEY KILL DOGS AND CATS AND EAT THEM. *cries*


#YULIN is cruel!! Thus, #StopYulin2015 campaign should be done in all countries. No one and nothing deserves to be treated that way. Sigh. Stupid mentality.


Okay, moving forward. Wait, does Tora ToyBox give shades to kids? HAHA! I can't recall. I bought too many toyboxs from Uncle Babu. Yeah, my childhood was that awesome.


Fasting is an obligation and a great worship. It is among the best acts of obedience and greatest deeds, and one for which there is great reward. God is indeed merciful. Imam al-Bukhariyy related the Qudsiyy hadith that the Prophet said Allah said: which means: "The reward of every good deed is multiplied ten up to seven-hundred times, except that of the Fasting; it is usually done in sincerity and will be multiplied by as many times as Allah wills." 


One of the doors of Paradise, named ar-Rayyan, is specified for those Muslims who used to fast in this world. On the Day of Judgement, it will be opened, and those who used to fast in obedience to Allah enter through it, then it would be closed and no others will enter through it.


Fasting is a really good exercise for us to always feel grateful and thankful for what we have. Something that has stayed the same however, is the common reaction that I often get from non-Muslim friends and colleagues. *grab a chair guys*

I don't know why, but they just love to ask the same questions every year for that one particular month haha.

• 'So what? Do you really don't eat or drink anything at all for 30 days, Shikin?"

You really think that's what I'm doing? I am pretty sure I would die if I tried that. I don't dare to do so. Nope. Nope. Nope.

• 'Is it ok to eat in front of you?' - I get this alot. Like seriously guys.

Of course it is. One of the main principles of fasting is discipline and I would prefer if you just spent your day normally and didn't worry about me. I can handle some nasi lemak or nasi kandaq being eaten near me. *loud sounds coming out from my tummy*

• 'Why do you do it to yourself? Isn’t it bad for you? Your body needs food okay? How could they make you guys do this?'

I'm not punishing myself and this isn't a burden. Ramadan is a very special time for Muslims that a lot of us look forward to. There are certainly times when it can be difficult but it only lasts a month and it reminds us how people less fortunate than us have to live.

Fasting is only considered obligatory for adults that can fast. You don’t have to fast if you have any health issues that could be affected. We may be losing a few meals every day but the aim is to change our entire lifestyle positively allowing us to feel that we are gaining a lot spiritually throughout the month. You should try it friends! :) *I actually have friends who did this and they love it!*

• 'Must be a great way to get in shape!'

Yes, there is plenty of evidence around to support the many health benefits of fasting, including improving brain function, improving your immune system, normalising insulin sensitivity, helping to cure addiction and helping weight loss. We also eat a lot of dates during this month which are very good for you.

But then, during the night, everyone will eat like nobody business. Like they have never eaten for YEARS. Every hour they will be holding foods, munching here and there. Okay maybe not everyone else, I lied. Please forgive me. I was talking about myself *rubbing my round tummy*

• 'Eat some of this, no one will know' - I don't get this much now. 

Ramadan is not just about avoiding food or drink. We use the month to learn self-discipline, try to become spiritually stronger, appreciate God's gifts to us and how fortunate we are, reflect on the value of charity and generosity and give thanks for the Quran which was first revealed in the month of Ramadan.

I had 2 evil friends when I was younger. They made me eat Maggi Curry. As per claimed by them "If you eat this in 2 seconds, your puasa wont batal". Me being me, I eat a spoon of maggi and both of them were laughing and said "HA HA HA, your puasa is now batal Shikin!!". I was so naive. Hey, I was 8 okay that time. And they were 10 years-old. Blergh. But it was a good one. Haha. 

• 'You must be really hungry!'

I was doing fine until you mentioned it, thanks. *looking at my watch. Crap, another few hours to go*.

Haha.

If you know someone fasting during Ramadan, please, just act normal. If you still find the entire concept too difficult to comprehend, remember that it only lasts about a month! And at the end we get to celebrate HARIII RAYAAAAA YAAAAYYY!!! ( Eid Mubarak). 

Can't believe it has been a year since last Ramadan! How time flies so fast. It's scary. I am scared. I am getting older. Oh god, next thing I know I have wrinkles on my face and losing my teeth one by one. *gulp*

Nightmares. Nightmares everywhere.

Till then, Assalamualaikum! Enjoy your Ramadan :)

GST?

Haluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Assalamualaikum everyone! Howayadoinyawwww? I am doing perfectly fine! Alhamdulillah. Couldn't ask for more :) :)

Okay, fuhhh fuhhh. Bismillah. Before I start writing, (or should I say start letting out my frustration? Teheeee.) let's just give you some heads up on what is happening in my life right now.

I can't wait for this 1st of May because I'll be flying off to somewhereeeeeee. Me, sissy and jengjengjeng. Lol. I can't wait to meet up with my babyD :) I'll tell you guys soon who is this babyD yeah? Perhaps in my next entry? After I come back from my vacation, of course. Ngehngehngeh.

Next trip will be Lombok, I think. I fall in love with that place the moment I see my friend's photos. For "Thalassophile" people like me, you can never say no to the sea/ocean. Sissy is at Paris right now, having fun -- of course. So jelly. I wish I can follow her T____T Other than these two wonderful things, everything else is not for you to know! Muehehehe.

Emm. So .. what do we know about GST? So basically our government has decided to charge 6% of GST in everything that can be called as a "service".

To make it clearer, I'll paste it here :)

GST which is also known as VAT or the value added tax in many countries is a multi-stage consumption tax on goods and services. GST is levied on the supply of goods and services at each stage of the supply chain from the supplier up to the retail stage of the distribution.

I have this issue where I don't friggin' understand why people is pissed off with the companies who applies this 6% GST rather than pissing off with the government who DECIDED to implemented this 6% in the first place?

Okay, let's be honest. Everyone hates GST right? Yes, we're in the same boat. I am working in a company where we give services to the public either in Malaysia or outside of the country. I mean in terms of education. And because of the 6% of GST, we had to deal with people's frustration over the phone nor over the counter. They will be screaming at us like nobody's business. 

This kind of people which I hate the most. And I bet I am not the only person who is having this issue whereby we get the blame for other people's mistake/fault/decision. And it is sad to see most of them are from a quite wealthy family and not-to-mention they are quite intelligent too. This is sadden me most. Oh well, people always says "Belajar tinggi-tinggi, tapi ... " the rest, you may continue it if you want :)

You think our company wanted to charge you with the 6% of GST so badly? Come on, use your brain, this ain't our decision. We had to charge because the government told us so. And I bet you've seen the news or read the news that the government implemented this GST on the 1st April 2015. The decision is not in our hands. Even if I buy topup at 7-E and being charged extra 60 cents for the GST, you think I will scold the innocent people? No of course. And yes, Maxis/Digi/Umobile/Celcom etc will not charge 60 cents extra for the topups if you go and buy at their centre(s). But if you go to 7-E or any other stores, of course they will charge you with the 6% of GST.

I just had to let out my frustration T_____T I am so pissed and puzzles at the same time. I don't know how to react when people starting to turn into Godzilla and can't listen to any explanations and forced us to listen to them instead. If only I have the power to stop the government from implementing the 6% GST. But I don't, unfortunately. 

So, I am begging to everyone who is reading this post right now. If you are not happy that the company/store/place charge you with the 6% of GST, please do not scold them for doing so, UNLESS if they are not SUPPOSED to charge you with the GST, meaning to say they are not registered with the government and don't have the registration number stated in the receipt, then you are more than welcome to go and make a report.

Always always always check on the website if you have any doubt about the place charging you with GST. If their company's name is not listed, make a report straight away!

You can always check here : www.customs.gov.my or you can reach the officer in charge at 03 8882 2111.

Okay! I think I am done with my frustration hewhewhew. I hope you people out there can think first before act! Act wisely, please :)

Wohoooo, babyD I can't wait to see youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Assalamualaikum & have a good day!

Harsh Criticism.

Can't wait to have my own house so that I can have this cutie back at home :)

Assalamualaikum!


Well hello readers out there! How have you been? I hope all is well on your side :) I am doing perfectly fine. Just recovered from dengue. That was the most painful sickness I have ever had for the past 1 year, tsk tsk. But Syukur Alhamdulillah, everything is fine now.

Okay, referring to the topic for this entry -- Harsh Criticism, does it help? Well, it sure does! At least for me. I used to speak bad English. Like, literally, bad. Like really really bad. Broken English, I must say! 

To be in a family where English is like a main language and you could not speak good English was so frustrating and humiliating at the same time. Imagine having a 7 y/o niece who can speak BETTER English than you do. How would that make you feel? Well, it surely made me feel dumb and stupid T__T

I must say, up until today I am still learning and trying to improve my English. Doesn't mean that I can speak or write good English now, I need to stop learning. Right? I love listening to people who can speak really good English. I find them attractive. Lul. 

Okay back to the topic. Why would I said harsh Criticism helps? Let me tell you one story. 

I have a sister who speaks really really really good English, and she's a lawyer by the way. When I was 9/10 y/o (can't remember), I get scolded by her because I spoke horrible English. Like really horrible. She said to me " Eh Kin, if you can't speak good English, better not to speak at all. You look like a fool now ". Damn, that hurts! Big time! I look at my dad, because I was talking to him at that time. And my dad was giggling when my sister scolded me. I felt so down and dumb. 

And she added " Really, don't speak at all. Just speak in BM. Memalukan je ". Shit weh, rasa macam nak amek pisau cucuk hati sendiri masa tu HAHAHAHA! But then I said to myself " Shikin, you gotta prove to her one fine day that you can speak good English. YOU HAVE TO! ". Well, from there, I read English books, I always have my dictionary in my room and I watch a lot of English movies. Not to forget, having my late dad to be my private English teacher at home :P Just to make sure that I can improve my English.

Everything pays off! I did improve my English, both written and spoken. Since then, English have become my favourite subject in school. I tend to speak English most of the time. Especially when I am angry hehehehhee. Tapi kadang2 bila terlalu marah, haa kawwww English punya grammar terabur. Lepastu Mr.X time tengah kena marah tu sempat lagi dia betulkan grammar aku. Last-last tak jadi marah pastu dedua gelak. Phui! :P 


So I really believe, harsh criticism does help when it comes to something you can improve. And having 2 sisters and being the youngest is actually both a blessing and a curse. Blessed because if you've gain weight without you notice it, they will be the judges and critics you until you're back to your normal size ;p And a curse because .... everything else T___T


Do you know that I did not have a facial wash until I finished my high school? Lol funny, ay? After Spm, I went to Dubai and stay at my sister's house for 1 month. I came there twice, to be exact. On my first visit both of them dragged and forced me to buy a facial wash. They said I am a big girl now, so I should start taking care of my skin ( -.-' ) I still remember, they bought me Olay facial wash. Haha.

So people out there, if you really want to change something, then fight for it. Work for it. Don't give up. If people critics you, take it in a good way where you can improve that area or change it. No words or nobody can bring you down, unless you give them the power :)

Continue learning. Improve your weak areas and you shall be proud of yourself when you've finally improved :)

Sorry if there's any grammatical error or bad English in this entry. I don't know why, after I had dengue, I literally forget how to spell certain words. HAHA. Bodo nyaaaaaaa. Tapi itu la kenyataannya. I can't remember things, haih. 

Me : Can't wait to have cats running around in our house! 

Him : Yeah, cats, you, rabbits, our child, I'll die soon.

Me : Phuiii!

I can't wait for this coming May!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-hooooooliiidddaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy again! :)

* See you again when I have time to write :D God bless you all! Goodbye! Assalamualaikum :)

Al-Fatihah.

Assalamualaikum.


MasyaAllah! It has been almost one year since the last time I wrote. I am so sorry, there's a lot of stuff happening and I've been so freaking busy and and .. I forgot about this blog :'(


How are you guys been doing? I bet a lot of people does not bother to read my entries anymore, tsk tsk. Well, it is my own fault though! I hope you are doing fantastic people.

Herm. How do I start with this entry? It's awkward cause I used to write but not anymore and now I am trying to write back. I love writing. I should continue doing what I love, shouldn't I? Please bear with me as I am still trying to work this things off. Huuuuu.

Bismillah.

For those who are close to me, y'all know that recently I've lost my dad. He passed away on February 24th, 2014. That was my biggest loss in my entire life. I was the closest one to him. Losing him was not easy. I fell, to be honest. Took me months for me to stood up back. To be frank, I am still not over it. But I know, I gotta let him go. He is in a better place right now.

How did that happen? Well, grab a chair and keep reading this entry. Let see whether am I able to write this entry without tears rolling down on my face or not :'P

That morning, after finished perform my Subuh prayer -- as per normal I got ready to go to work. While adjusting my hijab, I saw my dad sitting on the sofa checking on his phone. Ah, I forgot. He had some meetings to attend that morning so that's why he changed his shift from night to morning.

Me : Bah nak pergi dah ke?

Bah : Ya, I am waiting for my taxi. Kin?

Me : Kin kejap lagi. 6.15 macam tu.

Bah : Oh okay.

Seconds after that I saw my dad walking towards our balcony and grab his shoes.

Me : Eh Bah, awalnya? Tadi kata tunggu taxi? Kan lambat lagi taxi nak sampai?

Bah : Takpa lah, bah can wait. Boleh borak dengan Abang Man (Abang Man was our guard back then)

Me : La awalnya. Apa lah Bah ni, tunggu lah kat rumah. - While walking towards him, I mumbled. 

Bah : *Giggles* Takpa takpa. Kejap ja pun.

After I kissed his hands, I went back inside and continue doing what I was doing just now. And before he left, his last words to me was "Take care, Assalamualaikum". I didn't know that was the last time I am gonna see him .. :'(

That morning when I was in the office, I felt one kind. I told someone I don't feel good. I've never felt this way before. As normal, people will say "Nah, that was just your feelings. Everything is fine". Turned out this time, It was not.

That evening, I fell asleep ( this is not normal. I don't sleep at evenings ) and the next thing I heard was my mom knocking on my door asking me to wake up. And I heard my sister was screaming at the back "Kin, bah collapsed!" I was still in a blurry + sleepy state but I know that was real. I woke up and straight away took my bath. I cried. I know something is not right today. I cried and cried. Mom asked me to stop crying. She said it's not good for me to cry as we still don't know what is going to happen. Deep inside, I know I've lost him.

7+ we went to GH. My sister and I were crying in the car, trying to control our emotions but we both know we can't. We reached the hospital somewhere around 7.40pm. There he was, I saw my father lying on the bed - helpless. The nurses and doctor did try their best to save him, but Allah knows what is best for him. Indeed. He left peacefully. Everything went smooth for arwah. Alhamdulillah :)

Not only my dad, I lost so many people in my life this year. Before my dad, it was my grandfather who left the world first. And now, recently, I've lost someone else. It is to be honest, the most painful year for me to swallow. But Allah is The Best Planner of all. I trust in Him.

You-know-who-you-are, you used to say you will never leave me. You promised me. But surprisingly, you did. You left me and I hope you will be fine, my friend. Thank you for always been there for me. You're the greatest gift I've ever had - after my family of course. And boo to myself. I actually thought you cared :)

So peeps, this is just 20% of what happened to me for the past 11 months. There's ups and down, but more to down I guess. But Alhamdulillah, I have people around to give me support. I hope while reading this entry you could spend a minute or two to sadakah Al-Fatihah for my late father and grandfather. And not to forget, Al-Fatihah to my heart for having such heavy pain to bear with.

Don't worry. I am strong. As long as I have Allah in my life, I'm pretty sure that I can survive this road! We aim for Jannah, so whatever happens in this horrible dunya, just bear with it. Trust in Him, and you will be fine :)

Al-Fatihah, dearie heart. I am proud of how strong you are :)

Pops, I miss you so much. You're the most priceless thing I've ever had. I know you are happy now. I know you are proud of your youngest daughter and how tough she is facing all this pain alone, right? If only I could buy a golden ticket to pay you a visit each time I miss your kisses and your smiles, oh I wish. Only God knows how much I need you right now. Rest in peace pops. See you real soon :)

His birthday was actually on 19/03 - Did not managed to celebrate this year.

Love you pops.

Appreciate your loved ones before it's too late. Grab all the moments that you can share with them. You never know when is the last time you will see a person. Cherish every moment. Put down your ego and just appreciate everyone. It does not cost a thing.

And I promise you, I will start writing back! Hikhik :D

* I actually managed to write this entry without shed any tears. So yay to myself! Al-fatihah.